h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

True, and let us not forget that Arthur was dumped on an early Earth, all alone. Hrm, very Adam don't you think. But would this make Marvin more than just a depressed narrator. He would be the scribe, making his way through the (created) universe trying to make sense of it all. Collating the data until being able to find the final message and the message itself, almost like DNA appologising for making us read some many books and even re-defining the term trilogy.
You have to question the whole idea of everything he's ever written, even the animals book could be a way of him pointing out that its all a big joke.
I think its about time DNA made a contirbution to this forum, to prove once and for all that he either exists or the reason we havn't seen a new book for, oh, far to long, is because he's truned his back on his creation, for without him and his words, this forum would never, could never have existed (unless of course, some other being took his place in the chaotic society, after all, there is a place for everything and everything has its place, but then would we looking forward to owning our own HHGTTG or waiting for something else like 'The A to Z of a really big place'?)

Actually, I beleive that the Hebrew alphebet is based on numbers and is numerically correct. It's all explained in that indie film Pi (that probably nobody outside and very few people inside the US have seen), but I believe there example was along the lines of the letters in father adding up to a certain number, the letters of mother adding up to another number, then those numbers added together equaled child or something like that. It was just very important that God had 42 letters in his name... Oh Zarquon's Singing Fish! You know, though, this would all explain why I got an automated response when I eMailed DNA...

Synchronistically enough. I called afriend last night, and he was watching said film as we spoke. I shall borrow it from him and check it out.

I've heard of the Mum + Dad = Child thing before. Is it that each letter has a number a=1, b=2 kind of think, rather than the total number of letters?

Certainly there's a lot of numerology here based around you name number and such like. For instance the number of my H2G2 name is 7, and the number of my reral name is....7. Spooky. And has it made me lucky, no it f**king hasn't.

Wasn't your H2G2 name the word of the day yesterday? I'm not sure about how it works (I wasn't watching Pi that closely, it was at a party, but like I said I confirmed it with a friend who was taking a Jewish Mysticism course. In fact her prof recomends the movie because it's pretty accurate in that regard). So if you do borrow the film, please tell me I've not got this completely off, and also tell me whether you agree with my technical theatre and film student freinds that this should have been at least nominated for an oscar.

Will do, and I had no idea that my dname was word of the day. To be honest I never go in there. But really, they should have told me!! I dunno, there's just no consideration these days, when I were a lad you could fit four thousand people on one bus. . . . . . . .ramble . . . . .blather. . . ."

However, if the numbers do add up, does this mean that all our lives are controlled by said numbers, for instance, does your cash card pin number say what kind of person you are and if you change it, do you have a change in personallity? Do the amount of letters in your password have a control on your ability to use the system? Does Carol Vorderman (a woman of numbers) need to be on so many programs? And is the total of those programs equal to a magic number? Are we living a slowly ending life by numbers or is it just an illusion? Do the figures on my electric bill actually mean anything apart from that I use far to much electric?

Cool.

I go away for a few days and break my toe and a whole big discussion breaks out. H2G2 is surely the place for wise and learned debates, and sheer random guesswork.

So, are we all calling on DNA to give us a SIGN?

(He's not the son of GOD, he's a very naughty boy.)

Vlad.

Ah, we can't do that because that would be temptation. That would be asking Him's chosen one to use his powers for himself, and by it's very nature deny faith. And you can't be doing that. You must believe and the signs will come like meteors from the sky.

God I should start a cult. I'm good at this stuff . Now, if anyone can come up with a link between DNA and the CAssini Probe I think we're on to a winner.

Who's to say that HE is not among us at this very moment?
HE may be walking amongst the common people dressed in the robes and vetements of a beggar or poor monk.

Yea, and verily HE may be using the power of the Mac to accomplish HIS good deeds and ensure that the word is carried forth.

Oooooo!

What is the CAssini probe anyway and what does it have to do with razors and the like? I don't have a clue about that razor theory.

Vlad.

Ps. Can we start a cult huh? Can we? We could do that I'm sure.

Cassini probe is the space probe going out to Jupiter etc. which did an Earth flyby just after the eclipse. Was a prime Armageddon candidate, since, if it had hit the atmosphere, a large quantity of plutonium would have been evenly spread over the entire globe, poisoning the planet for the next 90 years....great!

If HE is among us (and isn't DNA) I'd reckopn HE is a SHE, is an anarcho environmental protestor type, and is living either in Deptford, or one of the less pleasant favelas of Sao Paulo.

As for starting a cult. Damn right. Been thinking about it for years.

We have to decide on a few things:

1. When is the world going to end
2. Where are we going to be when it does end
3. What will are excuse be when it doesn't end
4. What shall we do in the mean time
5. Chooses one of the following cult types
Wierd back to the soil Hippy types
Wierd lentil eating dancing types
Wierd fundamentally religious proselyting types
Wierd survivalist machine gun collecting types
Wierd bomb making genocidal types
Wierd racketeering Internet TV types
Wierd apocalyptic suicidal types
6. Choice of cult type will determine waht mainstream religion we attempt to rip off, what clothes we wear, what music we listen to and whether we use mind altering drugs during services (no brainer that one).
7. We need a symbol

Crikey Blimey!
My screen says you posted this message 42 minutes ago!
How did you manage that???!??!!

Ok.
How 'bout this.

We are survivalist machine gun collecting weirdos, calling ourselves "The Righteous Knights of Kettering, Northants".

(No, I don't live in Kettering.)

The world will end in 2093, because we'll be too busy being dead to make excuses when it doesn't. It also adds up to 14, yeah, which is, like, TWICE 7, yeah?

(That'll fox the numerologists)

In the mean time we will be trying to persuade other people (particularly attractive young women) to join our cult and build underground bunkers for storing food and machine guns.

We listen almost exclusively to music by the known satanist and all round dirty Frenchman, Serge Gainsbourg.

We wear survivalist combat fatigues in Buddhist orange.

Mind altering Pork Pies.

Our saviour is walking amongst us in the guise of someone in Deptford.
When the world ends and we survive S/HE will take us by the hand and lead us through the streets of London, as foretold by Ralph McTell.

That'll do, Pig.

Now, for a second, I thought this forum was going to be clever, witty and biting. Now I've started the creation of a cult by mearely stating my thoughts. The old addage should be updated 'Belive half you see, a quarter you read and nothing you are told, but type a load of rubbish on the net"

Although the cult idea is good, I mean, how diffecult is it to meet likeminded people in todays society. Maybe we should start a splinter web site, even have our own DOMAIN.. ooohhhh sounds good, we could email each other, which almost sounds like female... ooohhh.

I would like to say get a life, however......
I would need to set an example first...
DNA please show us a sign

Witty & biting? I don't know what gave you that idea. Frivalous and insulting maybe. There's sensible forums like "Christianity" to be witty and biting. This is for attempting to prove that DNA is in fact the second coming, and to persuade large numbers of large breasted, bikini clad Californians to buy lots of guns and move to Kettering.

Good brainwashing techniques makes up for any lack of like-mindedness.

Where the devil is Kettering anyway? Still I suppose we can build bunkers anywhere.

I've very keen on our rapture being to the sweet refrain of "Streets of London"

Woah!

Now hang on a second, Merkin and I were just going off ona bit of a diversionary ramble. These things happen in normal conversation but the ludicrous nature of it is only apparent when witnessed in writing by a 3rd party.

If we have strayed away from the original question (and believe me, bringing DNA into it is a definite stray in itself), it is because people involved in the discussion have said what they wanted to say.

Not all conversation on H2G2 can claim to be clever, witty and biting.
It's also fairly obvious that irony doesn't transmit well in its written form.

Perhaps we should have started a new conversation for our cult ramblings, but as I mentioned before, people do tend to digress from their original conversations, and we're not writing papers for submission to academic journals here.

Yeah!

Anyway, just to bring it back (sing it back)

Things we need to sort out by the Millenium (and we've only got 90 days)
1. Who is God (And is he still alive)

2. Is HE (the second coming) walking among us

3. Does HE live in Deptford

4. Is HE actually DNA (and is he still alive and living in Deptford)

5. Can 500 beautiful women be persuaded to join an imaginary and unsubstantiated cult in less than 3 months. (agreed it's not a question that's been plaguing the minds of the worlds greatest thinkers for the last millenia, but dammit, I want answers!)

Right, it's Friday morning, and I can feel a pint coming on.

I saw that movie Pi, it had a bunch of interesting concepts in it. This genius mathematition is trying to find the numerical pattern in the stock market, only problem is hes going mad. He's near a breakthrough to crack the stockmarket when his machine spits out an (I think) 256 digit number.
Some Jewish sect that's taken an interest in his work through some sort of covert means try to befriend him to help them work on the number which provides the name of God that's been lost in time, when some High Priest who knew it got killed by a bunch of heathens. What a slip up by God.
So they ask him to apply his model to their problem. It seems that in Yiddish, words make numbers, so if they can get their hands on the number that they believe is the name of God and congruesly is the solution to many of the world's problems being interconnected to all things, which will be rather a neat thing in their opinion.
This universal number gets lost while corporations and the religious institutions are trying to get him to duplicate it. Unfortunately the poor fellow goes mad.
Top movie, with a whole bunch of philosophical, religious and mathemetical questions being completely unanswered at the end. Antiquity One, Numerologists Nil.

Haaaa.

I shall try and Get hold of this Pi film, it sounds like a work of genius.I fear the ending may have been spoiled for me, though.

Merkin,

These are all the questions I was entertaining when I first started this conversation. Surely Lance Boyles should be involved in this?

At the end of the last millenium, people genuinely believed the world was going to end. They credited themselves with being advanced intellectuals, with wisdom the like of which the world had not seen before.

We prefer to think of them as funky medieval monks, smelling of goat.

My point being, we are no closer to the "truth" than our (slightly) more goat-smelling ancestors. We just have greater advances in Science and technology that bring us no closer to the answer, but make the question a lot more complicated.

I think DNA was just quicker than most in pointing out that the problem is the question, not the answer.

Still don't think he's God, just an intelligent drinker with a sideways perspective.

He might live in Deptford though.

(Kettering is a small town of no consequence whatsoever in the rural reaches of Northamptonshire. God doesn't live there but he might move if we got enough Bikini-clad Californians.)

And have a lukewarm ale for me.

How about all these recent earthquakes? I can see all the fanatics fixing up their preaching boxes and dusting off their 'end of the world' signs. Maybe its time to jump on the bandwagon of hysteric superstition.

Check out http://www.h2g2.com/A179624 for my speil on Metaphysical Knowledge. It pretty much conforms with our 'goat smelling ancestors' knowing no more than we do about the big picture.