h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, I'm glad you folks have cleared up that bit...right. But maybe the Potentate should just stay out of it since he hasn't really contributed anything of value anyway. Of course, none of us really have, but that's beside the point.

Does anyone really mind if I talk to the Californians myself? Seeing as I'm from the States and most of you ARE NOT I thought it might be easier for me to get in touch with them. But hey---nevermind.

Note: Yes I am single, but I'm not your type.

PS: Who's on duty?

Who has type, I'll accept anything that wouldn't mind being with me! Can't be picky these days.

Go grrrrrl!

By all means talk to Californians, we have to shout REALLY loud.

Kettering is a long way for you to travel though?

Ravenscross is right. Males can't afford to be picky generally. That's not our job.

Mmm. Smote. Huh. verily and thus.. Mmm Righteous, etc. PERTITUDE!

Friends, citizens, and fellow cult members. I see there has been much banter, debate and commentary since last my slightly soiled sandals touched these pages.

There is much for me to answer, so I shall do it as quickly as possible, in no particular order and with little or no refernce to the original statements.

1 (For it is first) As Vladimir states, orange battle fatigues must be worn on duty. Female members should indeed wear sky blue silk skirts and tight-fitting little tops during battle operations, at other times, due to the unnaturally warm climate of Kettering, bikinis would be the most natural form dress.

2 The reason we seek out the mammarically endowed californians is purely due to their strategic military importance. What would you a soldier in the ranks do when faced by a horde of tightly fitted, pert yet large babes, armed only with sheer affront, and wicked intentions. Would you not surrender as fast as you could raise a flag (missus)?

4 (For 3 is trinity, and is not spoken of) Verily shall we celebrate New Year every 42 Thursdays, and we shall feast on Kumquats for seven moons.

5 We shall create a California Room in the heart of our holy temple for the betterment of our souls through bodily lust.

So let it be written, so let it be done.

Well, that sorts that out. Now what about this Nietzsche fellow?

Ma'huish U'qui Kettering.

I feel that the cult is not following the rules by which it was set up. There appears to be many fractions in the whole. I speak of those that think a cult must be viewed with fear (and , in the case of the babes, lust) whereas the original view of the cult was that of peace and information. Let us not forget that this very meeting point was created from an information source of great intellegence. The Guide will and has, shown us the way. Do not follow those that use the cult for thier own needs, nor follow those that seek to control. Be yourself, enjoy yourself, feel yourself, oh.. opps, gone a bit to far with that.
Anyway, life is what you make it, as Talk Talk once said and with all the skill of a dancer on Top of the Pops, I declare a splinter group to the cult, one that will accept anyone, be they male or female, be they dressed in orange, blue or nothing, be they large breasted or not, I will accept all that chose to follow themselves. Individuality is the one, true way. Free speech is the word and strange, rambling speeches are the sermon. Blessed are the words of DNA, thanks by to Marvin.

Wow! That's pretty impressive: you just spelt "weird" wrong seven times in a row!

Wishing to be fractious and argumentative , was it not Vladimir who started this string, and was it not Vladimir who uttered those now immortal words "Can we start a cult huh? Can we? We could do that I'm sure.", and is not Vladimir the most hardline, heretic-eviscerating cult member, and I've been checking the thread, and I didn't see a thing about peace and information. This is a cult dammit, and it is our duty to have strange arcane rules which bind us together in extremis.

A disparate group of individuals following their own paths and occasionally chatting is a forum, not a cult, and we've already got a forum, in fact we've got thousands.

I dunno, the desire for pogroms and jihads just isn't what it used to be...

As the instigator of this original conversation, I suggest we move the "Is God dead?" question to http://www.h2g2.com/forumframe.cgi?forum=22425&thread=22483

as this forum is getting a bit lengthy....

...and all cult related queries/discussions tohttp://www.h2g2.com/A180802

Yea, hail to the hallowed righteousness of small towns in the midlands!

true, vlad di use the words, but the form was mine. I gave life to the 'Is Douglas Adams God' question, to wit, Vlad started the cult. But to which you gave life, you have rite to control and I chose to control that arm of the forum (as if I could but one can but try). Given that this forum started as a form of expression about what unfinished business there is, it has turned into a rather interesting study of men's behaviour. You may have noticed that it is the quickest growing forum on the site (and I am sure its causing everything to slow down) and there appears only to be a few posters on the forum. Why, I ask, is that. It maybe because we may not interest the fellow readers, it maybe becasue the forum has grown so large that no-one wants to read all the information to get to the next bit. Whatever the answer (yet again, we search) I ask not for the breakup of posters into clans and cults, but for the combined use of the infomation given, your cult may call upon my peaceful ways to give ideas, sermons, pathways, and my cult, therefore, can borrow some of your babes for when we let our hair down. Together we are a force to be reckoned with, alone, we are just a bunch of loonies typing gibberish into a forum.

Those that do not chose to follow us will hear the cry of gods,
"Etam Masturbarum, Semper Masturbarum'

Eviscerate the heretics! Burn the heathens! Disembowel the preachers of peace! Ogle the Californians! Poke the naughty people with sharp pointy things till they say "Ow"....

Dum-de-dum... Oops. Wrong forum.

Well done sir. A beuatifully executed plan. Right, where's my pitchfork?

I wouldn't particularly want to see your mind come out on paper.

I'd rather see it come out in cling wrap.

3

didn't God once say that Nietzsche is dead? Or did I just read that on a bathroom wall.

I've read a refrigorator magnet that went something like this:

"God is dead" -- Nietzsche
"Nietzsche is dead" -- God
"Nietzsche is God" -- The Dead

This guy was a bit of a hippie, so I assumed that that last reference to "the dead" meant "the greatful dead".

Yeah, I quote the first two lines all the time. But I've never heard the third

I've gotta ask. Omnimental? What's it mean?

Well, when I posted that, I was the Omnipresent Mental Surgeon (and before that, The Omnipresent Dental Surgeion), so your guess is as good as mine. Read my journal, I'm keeping a record.

What will it be tomorrow?

The Omnisurgical Mental Present?