h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If you accidentally find yourself in Nebraska or you absolutely must go there for some reason (life or death I imagine) you're going to need several pints to erase the images of the flat, barren landscape and endless fields of corn. Stop into the Uptown brewery in Stanton (upon Elkhorn) for the best pint this side of bonny Erin. While the barman pours your pint in clean fresh glasses emblazoned with the Guinness logo, the owner will tell you about how long its supposed to take to pour, how they do it in Dublin, and how they seem to sell an awful lot of it around here (see landscape). The pints there have a one inch head, are nicely chilled, and smooth as black silk. There, I've already forgotten about my surroundings. Cheers.