h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The worst thing about black cats is that in the gloom, they are just patches of dark in the darkness. Combine this with the natural love cats have of occupying main household thoroughfares (hall, landing, doorways) and you have a fiendish recipe for cats being kicked by unsuspecting humans who think they can navigate without using lightswitches.
My own cat has found herself hurlting unexpectedly down the stairs a few times as a result. Unfortunately, no lesson is ever learned from this experience, other than that humans have bad night vision and that black cats are too trusting.

Hmmm....well, my only cat (at the moment) is orange and white, but he seems to have no problem blending into shadows...

Just a note, but in Japan, having a black cat cross your path is *good* luck. Well, I guess SOME countries have sensible superstitions. ^_^

I would suggest it would be more appropriate for your cat to kick you. If you are so negative towards having a cat (it seems you're grumbling about general cat actions) why have one? If you can't appreciate them for what they are, you don't deserve the pleasure of your cat's company.

What a very peculiar sentiment

Speaking of aggressive black cats, I have to wonder whether people wandering through the jungle at night ever end up kicking panthers and the like. Making their last trip, you might say...

P.S. is there somewhere for "Positively Worst Pun of the Week" nominations?

We oughta send that pun in to reader's digest, they've got a page for people like you.