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On the avenue...Fifth Avenue...
Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor Started conversation Jun 13, 2016
Like the song says, 'The photographers will snap us, and you'll find that you're in the rotogravure...'
Well, hardly. But our tiny metropolis has a Fifth Avenue. It's a winding two-lane that goes up hill and down dale, from the river up past the courthouse and Main Street, back down past the Dollar Store, winds through the old neighbourhoods, past Aldi's and a garage or two, a wave at Walmart and over the interstate...at this point, it's reverted to its 'real' name, which is a two-digit state number...you get the idea.
The thing is, Fifth Avenue is one of the main drags around here, and it's becoming congested.
No, the population has not grown (beyond a paltry number of adorable babies born in the last few weeks). It's that bugbear, construction.
When you reduce the main drag to one lane, and leave one bored young woman in an orange vest to regulate the flow with a sign that says 'Stop' on one side and 'Slow' on the other, there is no such thing as life in the fast lane in our borough.
Today, Elektra and I were driving home shortly after what should have been the 'lunch rush', and had to wait a bit for the sign to be turned around. This is hardly a big deal to us - we've lived in Athens and Philadelphia, after all, so we think a rural traffic jam is funny - but it causes all the country folk to grumble and talk about how 'the Lord is teaching us patience'.
This has been going on ever since it stopped snowing (in mid-May), and the minor construction shows no signs of abating. Officious hard-hatted folk with backhoes and other oddly-named pieces of heavy equipment abound. It's a two-year-old boy's dream landscape.
'I don't think they're going to finish putting those gas pipes across the road until first frost,' was my comment.
'Why should they?' said Elektra. 'It's a good job. And it's practically in the middle of town.'
'Yeah,' I mused. 'Centrally located - you don't have far to come to work, you're close to all the stores and restaurants, plenty of eateries to choose from on your lunch break... why should they give this up?'
By the time we made it to Main Street, we were laughing so hard I almost missed my turn.
On the avenue...Fifth Avenue...
Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U. Posted Jun 13, 2016
many moons ago, in my err" before teens age "they" dug part of the road up in town. A few week later, other team came and dug the exact same patch up. Lo and behold! a few week later YET another team came and dug the exact same patch up - turned out to be something like water/gas/electric ? everyone commented on why ? didn't they co-operate and do all the jobs at the same time, 1 shop person replied - but it keeps them in work
On the avenue...Fifth Avenue...
Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U. Posted Jun 13, 2016
On the avenue...Fifth Avenue...
Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor Posted Jun 13, 2016
Not inconvenient for the workers...they didn't have far to go for lunch...
On the avenue...Fifth Avenue...
Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U. Posted Jun 13, 2016
On the avenue...Fifth Avenue...
Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~ Posted Jun 14, 2016
A few summers ago our municipality had very accurately positioned all of the years roadworks around the middle of our relatively short tourist season. To which a German visitor remarked: "You ought to have moles in your municipality's coat of arms"
On the avenue...Fifth Avenue...
Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U. Posted Jun 14, 2016
in the 1980's, some Geordie contractors (working at a local pit) were staying at my local puband used to go home at the weekend.
On their return one Sunday night, one of them was covered in bruises ? and on explanation they and their wives were coming out of their local working man's club, when one called out "mind that hole" at which another fell down it - the problem was:- he used Yorkshire dialect for hole = oil
and the guy THOUGHT OIL and walked around thinking a patch of it---oops! right into "hole"
On the avenue...Fifth Avenue...
Tavaron da Quirm - Arts Editor Posted Jun 18, 2016
We are still waiting for the whole parking lot and street in front of our house being dug up, which is supposed to happen some undefined time this summer...
On the avenue...Fifth Avenue...
Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U. Posted Jun 19, 2016
ah! the old "it'll be done shortly (but in which century) syndrome"
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On the avenue...Fifth Avenue...
- 1: Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor (Jun 13, 2016)
- 2: Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U. (Jun 13, 2016)
- 3: Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor (Jun 13, 2016)
- 4: Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U. (Jun 13, 2016)
- 5: Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor (Jun 13, 2016)
- 6: Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U. (Jun 13, 2016)
- 7: Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~ (Jun 14, 2016)
- 8: Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor (Jun 14, 2016)
- 9: Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U. (Jun 14, 2016)
- 10: Tavaron da Quirm - Arts Editor (Jun 18, 2016)
- 11: Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U. (Jun 19, 2016)
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