h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ah, trust Clive to come up with a simple and sensible explanation.

TRiG.

I still think we ought to look out in case Mal starts installing a patio or something

I think that must be it, Clive.

He's at work this morning, sitting at my desk

Now what do you say to a flatmate who's just moved out and not told you? I decided to try the roundabout approach...

: So, er, my brother-in-law is thinking of coming to visit for a week, would you mind?

: Actually, I've decided to move out for a while, so that's fine.

: Oh, when are you moving?

: Yesterday...

: OK. Were you, er, planning on telling me?

: ...




So it looks like I now have a guest room (hint, hint). And no, the picture of JP wouldn't come off the wall, so I did the next best thing. I hung a Che Guevara t-shirt I found in the cupboard upstairs over it, figured they'd cancel one another out...

Good question, KB, the Bathroom Pope was the very first thing I asked her about, too...

Uh-oh...dressing the bathroom in Che Guevara T-shirts? It's going to be socks on the ceiling again in no time!

There, I've moved most of my things to the big bedroom - it's about twice the size, with a window about four times the size of the other that looks out over a good view rather than a car park!

I moved the bed, though, it was taking up far too much space where it was. And it had obviously been there for years - the carpet had been worn away almost entirely where the previous occupants got in and out of bed. But the bed looks nowhere near as old as the carpet, so they must've put a replacement bed in the same stupid spot.

I solved that puzzle, too, though. There was a painful lump under the carpet that had been covered by the bed. Because the carpet's beyond any chance of redemption anyway, I used my pocket knife to cut a slit in it. And extracted a (loose) 3-cm piece of copper pipe that had presumably been there since the house got central heating.

That could be handy if you need a 3cm piece of copper pipe one day.

Oh, so they were just saving it for emergency plumbing? Silly me!

Yes, it's known in the trade as "slack".

With the huge increase in the price of copper it is now a 'nest egg'.

So, when I see workmen slacking they're actually gathering surplus materials?

So, it appears I am getting a new flatmate. They told me about this three minutes before she came to collect the keys. Or rather, they told me "L is coming to collect her keys" and I went "who's L?" At least she seems nice, more talkative than B, anyway.

Perfect.

Good luck...

Has she got nice socks?

Looks like it may all work out for the best, but how rude of the old flatmate not to say aything to you!