h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This afternoon we had a section Xmas lunch. It was great. It was followed by a few drinkies in The Porterhouse in Covent Garden. This too was great. Then, at about six o'clock, my companions bluggered off to their wimmin.

I wandered up to Halfway To Heaven, got myself a large Whisky & Coke, sat down and thought 'I really don't want to be in a gay bar'.

I got on the bus and came home. It struck me that I wanted to be staggering through the streets of Soho with a mate, be they gay or straight. I just wanted to be with someone who knew who The Kooks were and also appreciated early Aerosmith and had a preference of Doctors.

I came home. CUP's watching ITV. I'm blinkin' lonely.

I have good friends but they're all 100 miles away. I'll be seeing them in a couple of weeks, which cheers me up, but then I'll be coming back to this.

If I was a crunt I could accept it, but the fact is I'm a thoroughly nice bloke. I have my moments of misguided righteous indignation (as most of you have seen right here on HooToo!) but don't we all!

Plissflaps. Anybody got a shoulder to cry on and fancy a pint?

Ah, blimey mate

I could share an hootoo pint on here, i know its not the real thing, but its the best i can do buddy

Awww, so , get on a plane and cone over here.

Thanks for the virtual pint BK. Twas supped and thouroughly enjoyed.

I'm now listening to Blue Rhondo A La Turk with CUP. All is good!

Cone? Is that German for something salacious?

Loneliness is rubbish!




That's it I'm afraid, I have absolutely nothing useful to offer or suggest. But, like you say, you are going to be soon enjoying yourself and spending time with good friends and family.
Maybe when you get back you should get yourself a plan of action to put a bit of oomph in your social life, Mr Reasonably Ok* isn't going to come knocking on your door to find you you know. Even if he bloody well should




*No such thing as Mr Right

B'El, you know how I feel about planes!

I know who the Kooks are, my preference of Dr's would be Pertwee, and if i had the chance right now, i'd like to be sat in any sort of pub, drinking with you, and listening to you trying to convince me that Queen were gods.

Cheer up mate

Did you see The Fratellis on the best of 2006 just now? Doesn't lead Fratelli look like Marc Bolan?

Yes, I know.
Ha, Mrs. B, picking on a harmless typo.

Blue Rondo a la Turk? That band from the 80s who's single, the title of which I don't know how to spell, that I've been trying to hunt down for eons?

N'aaww, a loo brush, for me?

How you doin' BK?

This time of year can bring out the worst (and most hated) desires in us all. Keep your chin up (or should that be 'chins' - it is in my case ) I know what you mean! It will pass, you will find 'someone', of that I hope!

All's fair in love and typos B'Elanarama

Ahem. Dave Brubeck Quartet. 'Nuff said.

I've been cheered immensely by Paul Desmond's sax. Now on Take Five.

Cheers peeps, too drunk to respond to you all personally!

B'Elanarama - nice one, Jangley.

Solutions:

1) Unless the sight is liable to depress you even more, have one off the wrist and count yourself lucky that you can do so at virtually any time you please. Us married types have to be discrete, otherwise the wimmin start to feel we prefer onanism to them.

2) Have a bloomin good f*rt and rejoice that no-one is going to tut at you.

3) Write a Guide Entry on why onanism is better than sex.

4) Handcuff yourself to the bed and spend the rest of the weekend gnawing through your wrists to escape.

5) Call in a bomb threat to your own house and break out the when the plods come round.

6) Read HMRC Notice MSB2 out loud in a Basil Fawlty impersonation.

7) Deep freeze the banana first.

Oooo not wondered about Soho in yonks How long is it to Christmas now? everything all gone weird time wise

It's all cool. I'm now listening to Miles Davis 'Kind Of Blue' with CUP and a litre of JD. I know i won't seem so cool in the morning but, blimey, it's a seriously good album.

Hug and snog from me too. I always think it's a positive achievement to get through the office festivities withour doing anything embarrassing, so well played, that boy!

I missed the music of this year thingy - is it repeated?

Being ITV I would imagine it'll make up ITV2's schedule for the next fortnight, between Eggs Factor spin offs.

Cor, this is some seriously sexy sax action!