h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It occurred to me a while back that commenting on a potential or current paramour's appearance and physical features is not actually very complimentary. It is not something they have achieved, they were just born with it. A true compliment would be about something they have achieved by deliberate effort.
And yet, the whole of romantic music, which is most of the last century's western music, always refers to the opposite gender in terms of their physical attractiveness. In fact, the more I think about it, the fewer examples I can find that only talk about the person's qualities over which they have any real control: "She is so clever, she always knows what to do, she is so kind/wise/cunning/confident, she is so good at this or that."
Can you think of any? At all?

What an interesting question!

Well no not in western culture and I am unfamiliar with the subject of that type of music in the rest of the world.

However l wound not be surprised if some examples turned up in. Japan China or India, but I would not be optimistic.

Wait, I think I may have thought of one. I am not too familiar with the lyrics for the verses (and can't be bothered to listen right now), but the chorus of 'Wind Beneath My Wings' fits the bill: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jorJh8DTMVM

As l hope there are no time restraints I might have a contender Greensleeves Henry VIII era.

It's a loose fit though

Most songs are love songs. You may admire someone for their achievements, but you wouldn't love them for it.

Given that most of my peer group when I was a kid watched and listened to tv/film/music according to the 'fit' level of those in front of the audience (nothing else can surely explain 'Sweet Valley High') I doubt such as song would sell very well.

Besides which, if someone of the opposite sex compliments me on something personally I find it very complimentary

Maybe it's in the rarity

I think "When a man loves a woman" sums up a few things that a person does rather than what she looks like. However, it's addressed in the third person and not the second person.

Also Tammy Wynette's "Stand by your man" - describes what a woman does, or should do, to keep her man's love, without bothering about what she looks like.

At least, I think so, off the top of my head.

Sorry those examples are too naff.

One song in that vein which makes me cringe is Bryan Adams' "To love a woman". I shudder even as I write the title. Perhaps it's the three-four time, but it's more the sickly sweet tune and words.

It would be nice to be serenaded with "I love you cause you have the meal on the table on time and it's just to my taste; I love you because the bed always smells of fresh linen; I love you because the windows are clean enough to see through most of the time; I love you because you make decisions that are also im my interest"

But men don't notice that sort of thing, so why would they write about it?


*Ducks *

Maybe the difference is: on the one hand, Rod Stewart songs about "Hot Legs", whereas, ZZ Top sing "She's got legs, and knows how to use them"

In the early days of Eurovision, countries where English is not the first language were just starting to enter songs in English to the competition. I remember one love song which had the line "Oh your breasts are like...". But I can't remember what they were like.

Ah, a bit of googling got it:

Sweden, 1973, "You're Summer":

"Oh your breasts are like swallows nesting".

Wonderful Tonight, although very focused on how she looks, never strikes me about actually being about that at all. "I feel wonderful because I see the love light in your eyes" - it always feels like it's about how she makes him feel rather than her beauty.

Presumably the Lady in Red deliberately set out to wear what she wore, so is he congratulating her dress sense

Deb

I think Pet Shop Boys have some good alternative songs, like "Left to my own devices (I would probably love you)", and Se a vida e - "although we see the world through different eyes, we share the same idea of paradise".

My favourite Pet Shop Boys song that encapsulated my relationship is Liberation - all about the trust, and simple things like holding hands

Offhand, I can think of two modern romantic songs that don't concentrate on appearance.

'Annie's Song' by John Denver.

'Mandy' by Barry Manilow.

"Bat out of hell" has two or three interesting songs. I particularly like "Two out of three ain't bad," a bittersweet song.The relationship isn't likely to go anywhere, but needy people settle for what's available sometimes. The composer describes the songs as personality-driven.

Musical theater has given the top-40 some interesting personality-driven songs like "You can't get a man with a gun."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGB7yTZEZE4
"It couldn't please me more,"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93OkoU9gMlE from "Cabaret," is about two elderly people who celebrate the small gesture of a pineapple given as a gift.

Another bittersweet ballad about December love is "September Song." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wte1uk4A5eU
"Something wonderful," http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0zgyowFU8U from "King and I" tells the story of a man who makes a lot of mistakes, but when he gets it right, he deserves all the love the wife can give him.

In "oliver," Nancy sings "It's a fine life." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CG1ljBq7Eig

I might add that many of the examples I've given are from the point of view of experienced men or women who no longer have any illusions about what's important in life.

How about, 'Ah yes, I remember it well', from 'Gigi'?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQxM5rJ-uiY

The whole musical, which is based on a satirical short story by Maupassant, is about the contrast between superficial and real love.

Anything by Leonard Cohen, I daresay. Case in point: "Dance me go the end of love." It is deep. It is romantic. It is sensual, sexual, seductive and serious. It is very human. I gotta listen to it right now.

"Gigi" was by Colette, not Maupassant. "I don't understand the Parisians" makes a mockery of romantic love.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-UKOT7Nlr0

Thanks, so it was. I've learned something today.