h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I never trust a scone, unless it is made by my own hands tehy're pretty quick to make really, and I don't think they ever 'go wrong' really having said which... not made any in ages

Once I understood the true meaning of the scone within its four dimensions of butter, marge, jam, and cream did I reach enlightenment, and from that moment going forward I found the people less strange.

Take a freshly baked mince pie - warm from the oven;

Carefully prise off the shortcrust lid;

Add one spoonful of clotted cream and replace the lid;

Try to eat it without melted clotted cream dribbling down your chin.

The only food worth eating, in the world, i is that which, apon eating, inevitably and without failing leaves residue and remains of itself apon both the eater, and the eater's clothing... Trust me...
The pleasure, of the food itself, is thusly, by its retention apon the eater, increased, in its longevity by one's constant reminders, of the food, that one has, in the recent past, eaten.

Plus its handy to have a reminder of what you had for breakfast/lunch, when it comes to time for making one's next, subsequent meal

"Did I mention it's pretty damn good stuff? And really really good for the heart?" [Pink Paisley]

There are so many contradictions in scientific studies that there's probably at least one study that supports clotted cream as heart-healthy food. At any rate, there's little discernible difference in longevity between vegans and omnivores. Low-carb diets look better as more studies are done on them.

Basically, you should eat things you enjoy, and stop eating them only if reputable people tell you that they aren't right for your particular metabolism. Also, everyone has older relatives who have developed problems with certain types of food. The apple rarely falls far from the tree. My grandmother enjoyed peanut butter on Triscuits [a type of whole wheat cracker] as a snack, and she lived to be 93. I figure it's safe to follow her example.