h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Changing one letter in a film or book, come up with something rather different from the original.

ie - Forrest Gimp - The remarkable story of a sexually dominated young man.

Allen vs Predator - Woody Allen confronts an alien killer armed only with his self deprecating wit.

The Fast Samurai - Tom Cruise plays the Japanese warrior who triumphed against all odds at the Olympic Games.

Udder Siege - Steven Seagal is the one man who can protect the prize dairy herd from terrorists.

GoldenEwe - The greatest agent in the Welsh Secret Service saves the world, again.

Lawn of The Dead - zombies rampage through the suburbs doing a spot of gardening.

Casa Bianca - a soap opera featuring an ex-Eastender's star who has moved to the Costa del Sol.

Pilates of the Caribbean: Johnny Depp demonstrates a variety of Yoga-type poses.

Attack of the 50 Foot Wogan: Giant genial radio host terrorises the city.

Dos Boot: PC re-loads its operating system. IN REAL TIME!!!!

Ghostbuskers: Bill Murray and Dan Aykroyd play the guitar and bongos in a tube station.

Loltergeist: A family are terrorised by a picture of a cat on the internet.

B

Oh, books as well? What about...

James and the Giant Perch: Young orphan meets a very large fish.

The Habbit: JRR Tolkein reveals the drug addiction that made him write reams of tedious crap.

A Town Like Alime: Young Englishwoman earns a fortune growing citrus fruit in the outback.

Wag and Peace: Often described as the Russian 'Marley & Me'.

The Gripes of Wrath: American moans for 200 pages. Almost indistinguishable from the original.

Dupe: Spice miners travel to a far-off planet only to find that someone had tricked them and there's nothing there.

Jekyll and Hydi: Experimenting scientist morphs unpredictably into young Swiss girl.

Sex Easy Pieces: Richard Feynmann explains fornication for beginners.

Animal Firm: A picture book for adults only.

B

Reservoir Digs - a gritty drama about finding new sites for municipal water storage.

Star Tree - to boldly plant where no man has planted before.

Clash - a tale of people who get sexual thrills from listening to first wave punk.

Hairy Potter - A hirsuite orphan discovers a secret gift for making ceramics.

The Germinator - a botanist is sent back to the present from a nightmare future...

The Selfish Gene : Mr Hackman's Ex wife reveals all!

I can see this becoming addictive...

Lion - Jean Reno dresses in a wild cat outfit to entertain a young girl. Fun for all the family!

Raging Bill - Robert de Niro in a gritty biopic of William Shatner

WILL-E - Cleaning robot from the future discovers the joys of playing with himself.

The Stink - Paul Newman and Robert Redford play juvenile pranks in a lift.

The King's Sprech - Colin Firth not only gets his stutter cured but outs the entire royal family as being German.

Gone With The Wino - Scarlett O'Hara runs away with a homeless drunk and his bag of Thunderbird.

Good Will Hinting - Matt Damon smugly stands at the back of maths lectures and gives students clues to the right answers.

Ricky - Sylvester Stallone trains as a boxer by smacking Sid Owen. Immensely popular!

Mingin' In The Rain - Britney Spears goes for a walk in bad weather.

B

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Bid - Wild West outlaws turn to scamming auctions.

Lord of the Pings

- Evil Maia Sauron brings the internet to a halt by getting every device on the net to spend all its time replying to simple requests.

Voyage of the Dawn Breader

- three wimpy children from England join Baker Caspian to do the early morning deliveries in Narnia.

Mu Beta needs to stop it, he's giving me stitches from laughing out loud. Especially Loltergeist.

The Bitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - how to be a stroppy cow but still get a lift.

Deb

The Wife of Brian

In a scorching desert, hords of lunatics run after a fugitive woman...

Alpen

- the crew of spaceship Nostromo lands on a strange planet where a local intelligent being tries to feed them muesli

Three men in a Goat: [Sentence removed by Moderators]

Well, if you want more, deb...

Jurassic Pork - Doddery old scientist rears dinosaurs as a cheap meat source.

The Bungle Book - Deserted baby is brought up by suspicious man dressed in unconvincing bear costume.

Piddler on the Roof - Jewish Milkman sings luxuriantly while 'doctoring' his goods.

The Umpire Strikes Back - Tennis official does not take kindly to being told who his father is.

Back To The Suture - Wily surgeon rewinds time to retrieve his lost glove.

Doe Hard - Disney's long-lost sequel to Bambi reveals why Mum isn't scared of guns.

Shread - Animated ogre tires of living in a swamp eating the king's credit card statements.

B

That last one should have been 'Shred', of course.

B

Oh God! I need to go and do something else.

Can't stop...can't stop...



Cat On A Hot Tin Rolf - Australian artist and singer shows the crueller side of the Animal Hospital host.

Dead Rangers - Jeremy Irons plays identical twin park superintendents trying to catch whoever's been stealing all the pick-er-nick baskets.

The Big Chili - Gang of Baby Boomers re-unite, smoke marijuana and make a spicy beef dish.

Dina - Famous black opera singer steadfastly refuses to cook the evening meal.

Natal Attraction - Man has an affair in Durban, South Africa.

The Flo - Jeff Goldblum invents a matter transporter but slowly and gruesomely turns into an American sprinter.

The Full Minty - Unemployed steel workers try to earn an honest bob by setting up a sweet factory.

The Ipcress Filo - Michael Caine plays a spy trying to capture the Russian recipe for a rare herb tart.

The King and O - Yul Brynner enjoys some kinky sub-dom play with his slave girl.

P.A. Confidential - Kevin Spacey regrets not hiring a more discreet aide.

Little Bog Man - Dustin Hoffman tells of his long life cleaning out the reservation's toilets.

Mary Pippins - Two children are surprised to find their new nanny is a hobbit.

M*A*T*H* - Alan Parker's edgy satire of how many difficult sums there were in the Korean wars.

O!Hello - Shakespeare's Moor is delighted to welcome guests.

The Dirty Doyen - Old man letches at some raw army recruits.

Quadrophonia - A gang of Mods in Brighton invent the world's first four-speaker sound system.

Hobocop - A policeman of the future is made from nothing but a down-on-his-luck homeless man.

Terms of Endgarment - A complex romantic tale of one man and his boxer shorts.

A Sh*t in the Dark - Comic hijinks as Inspector Clouseau tries to get to the outhouse in the middle of the night.

B

<>

@Mu Beta, I have to go and repair my mascara now! Your lists are making me laugh so much I have tears down my face.

"The Ipcress Filo - Michael Caine plays a spy trying to capture the Russian recipe for a rare herb tart."

This wins the most clever points because of Len Deighton.

I'm Gonna Gif You Sucka - Spoof blaxploitation about the people at 4chan.