h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The Magnificent Leven

Independent bakers open a shop in a small Mexican village and see off the mighty Walmart

2001 - A Spice Odyssey

Fly on the wall documentary following a Wolverhampton curry house and it's attempt to make the world's spiciest curry.

Right, one last epic effort from me, and then I'm hanging up my coat for this thread.

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Occidental Hero - A down-and-out European man saves people from plane wreck

Allen - Spaceship crew are terrorised by Jewish Comedian.

Arsenic and Old Lice - Holds the record for 'least exciting bug-movie ever'

As Good as IT Gets - Misanthropic author falls in love with his helpdesk operative.

Basin Instinct - Michael Douglas has vigorous and sweaty sex with his bathroom sink.

Burton Fink - A brewer from Marstons gives away all their secret recipes.

Beauty and the Boast - A potted life history of Ashley Cole.

Ben-Her - Transvestite wins epic chariot race.

Toyz N The Hood - Buzz and Woody take it one step too far this time.

Breakfart at Tiffany's - Audrey Hepburn enjoys a plate of Heinz's finest.

Brighton Rack - Saucy south-coast sex comedy.

Cardyman - Don't say 'Hallmark' three times while looking in the mirror...

The Chins Syndrome - Jimmy Hill gets unscrupulously hushed by the authorities.

The Commiements - Depressed Russian teenagers form a cracking good soul band.

The Dim Busters - 18 Lancasters leave Scampton air base but get lost.

Dead Ports Society - A desperate committee try to bring commercial shipping back to Deal and Grimsby.

Vestry Rides Again - A mild mannered vicar straps on his guns to run those hoodlums out of town.

Ditty Harry - I know what you're thinking punk/Have six bullets or just five sunk?/To tell you the truth/I've forgotten, well strewth/Now do you feel lucky in that funk?

Enema of the State - Will Smith swallows a secret message and is pursued by the NSA, who are determined to get it out by forcible means.

The French Lieutenant's Womad - Nuclear test in the Pacific alerts warmongers.

The May Divorcee - Hoovooloo puzzled by film title that already has the word 'gay' in.

Got Carter - The rather underwhelming sequel.

GoonFellas - Mafia hitmen go hunting for underground treasure on a fabled pirate ship.

The Gradiate - Anne Bancroft seduces Dustin Hoffman by making him work out differentials.

Heelraiser - Sadistic and gory horror about what happens when you wear six-inch stilettos.

Hot Sh*ts - Parody about Charlie Sheen the morning after eating at Nandos.

Ice Cold In Aled - Songs Of Praise host has bedroom difficulties.

The Lion Kong - Heir to jungle throne climbs Empire State building before being shot down.

Lard of the Rings - Stars Fatty.

The Maltese Walcon - Mediterranean actor wins bit-part in private-eye film.

Mark Attacks! - Slim Whitman tries to stop the least talented member of Take That squabbling with the other four.

Memphis Belly - Man is forbidden to fly planes owing to his prodigious beer gut.

Mr Smith Goes To Washingson - Mrs Smith tires of bathing the baby and makes her husband do it while she goes out shopping.

Naked Lynch - Drug addicted gets mugged by naked gang.

The Name Of The Nose - Life is so dull in a 14th Century Italian monastery that the monks resort to thinking up titles for their body parts.

Natural Born Kilters - A young disaffected couple turn to skirt-making in Scotland.

Never Say Fever Again - Documentary on the elimination of smallpox.

The Night Of The Loving Dead - "It's alright. What could they POSSIBLY do that's worse than eating our brains?"

The Old Couple - Let's see how well Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau get on now...

Oklahomo! - Brokeback Mountain, the musical.

One Of Our Aircraft is Massing - USAF fighter turns to catholicism.

Raiders of the Lost Ork - Indiana Jones somehow finds himself on a quest for the One Ring.

The Red Shops - A ballet star commits suicide when she's not allowed to open an outlet for Dulux.

The Runging Man - Arnold Schwarzenegger competes on a futuristic game show where he is attacked by tough men while trying to build a ladder.

Schindler's Lint - Heroic anti-Nazi cleans out his belly-button.

The Shawshark Redemption - Great White escapes from prison with the aid of Black Reef.

Showgills - The story of a fish who desperately wants to be an erotic dancer.

Spice Jam - Michael Jordan is dared by Bugs Bunny to eat a brand new chilli-based concoction.

A Streetcat Named Desire - Stanley is NOT happy when a stray feline gets into his kitchen.

The Making of Pelham 123 - One of those DVD extras that no-one ever watches.

This is Spiral Tap - Plumber tries to sell novelty bathroom fixtures.

Trebors - Giant underground mints terrorise a small Western town.

Wa*kabout - Aboriginal boy does what all other boys would while watching Jenny Agutter in the buff.

White Men Can't Dump - Wesley Snipes laughs at Woody Harrelson with constipation.

The Q-files - James Bond goes for a discreet rummage in the technical department.

"The May Divorcee - Hoovooloo puzzled by film title that already has the word 'gay' in."

"Oklahomo! - Brokeback Mountain, the musical."

I take you already know that the original musical Oklahoma was once listed as "Oklahomo" in the Guardian media guide section?

Thank you, MB.

Mol

C*A*S*H - The staff of a Korean bank use humor and hijinks to keep their sanity in the face of the horror of recession

D*A*S*H - The sprinters on the Korean Olympic Team use humor and hijinks to keep their sanity in the face of the horror of marathons

H*A*S*H - The staff of a Korean Drugs Squad use humor and hijinks to keep their sanity in the face of the horror of fried potato breakfast goods

L*A*S*H - The s in a Korean bordello humor and hijinks to keep their sanity in the face of the horror of vanilla

M*A*T*H - The staff of a Korean University mathematics department use humor and hijinks to keep their sanity in the face of the horror of relativism.

M*A*S*S - The nuns and monks in a Korean missionary outpost use humor and hijinks to keep their sanity in the face of the horror of atheism

R*A*S*H - The staff at a Korean clap clinc use humor and hijinks to keep their sanity in the face of the horror of syphilis

T*A*S*H - The staff of a Korean barbershop use humor and hijinks to keep their sanity in the face of the horror of Movember

W*A*S*H - The staff at a Korean laundrette use humor and hijinks to keep their sanity in the face of the horror of detergent

Oh, and while I'm at it:

M*E*S*H - A network of fishermen from the Korean fishing industry use humor and hijinks to keep their sanity in line

M*O*S*H - Fans of the Korean Punk Rock movement use humor and hijinks to keep their sanity in the face of the horror of pop

M*U*S*H - Competitors of the Korean dog-sled team use humor and hijinks to keep their sanity in the face of the horror of thaw

Night of the Living Bead ---A group of Jewelery makers hide from zombies in a suburban semi.

Barrie ---The creator of Peter Pan uses his telekinetic powers to devasting effect

Mouse of 1000 Corpses --- the terrifying tale of a mouse who has had enough of cats and takes his revenge.

Bin City --- the story of refuse collectors in Sunderland

Lost Action Hero --- Jack Slater can't find his way to Mars, will Danny Madigan be able to help?

Bellraiser --- Pinhead returns as a terrifying campanologist.

Clank -- Jason Statham stars as tiny robot - his first solo outing since quitting the video game industry

Ginger Slaps --- a red-headed werewolf develops very large hands. Hilarity ensues.

American Lie --- the story of the Tea Party.

Attack the Brock --- the story of the making of the Hawkwind album Quark, Strangeness and Charm (Paul Rudloph has a walk off part)

Fog Soldiers - A British Army squad training in the Scottish Highlands gets hopelessly lost when the mist descends, but even the inclement weather cannot dampen their enthusiasm for uttering hilarious one-liners.