h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I hear the term 'family values' used more and more on the media here in the UK.

Even just now on BBC5Live radio, on a sports programme, they had an interview with a footballer. The first thing said in the studio was 'how refreshing to hear him talking about family values'.

They are still discussing it now.

I thought it was a sports programme

But then they've been talking a lot about 'Depression' since Gary Speed comitted suicide.

It's good to air this stuff...but what on earth has it to do with sport? Has sport suddenly invented these things?


But to return to the main question.

What are Family values?

Those who have children will probably know - though their values may differ from mine (or yours).

You would wish to bring up your children in what kind of environment?
That kind of environment contains the answer(s) to the question:

For me, it was, sort of:
No really dirty words (though I knew 'em all while at school and my kids did, too)
No cruelty in word or deed (malice aforethought is for the playground)
Innuendo - in moderation, is ok ("you're too young" is usually accepted - and a family snigger isn't unknown, later).


*** So, how would you want your youngsters to behave -Here- when they're old enough (and assuming membership can begin before 16)?.

It's a term that get used more and more by politicians, and even as I say on sports programmes.

I get the impression it's almost 'Victorian' in its concept of how people should behave and the power structure of families.

I couldn't imagine as a non heterosexual person fitting into it the way I hear talked about. But that's why I'm posing the question.

It comes across as something very authoritarian and 'Mary Whitehouse' to me.

It's 'back to basics' stuff, except this isn't basics, because as I say a lot of this thinking really only became standard thinking of a way to organise society in Victorian England.

In my family, the values were 'try to get divorced before you impregnate the woman you're having an affair with' and 'don't punch your siblings at weddings. Save it for funerals'.

My understanding of family values is doing things that support the community rather than the individual, showing lots of self-restraint and not doing things that would damage community cohesion like having affairs or drinking to excess. It means sublimating individual desires to the mores of the community.

Although it's often seen as an anti-gay thing, it doesn't have to be: I think gay folk who get married in the UK would be seen as supporting family values, but it is by and large anti-individual and lots of people, from liberals to libertarians, would see that as a bad thing.

As I understand it Family Values as a generalised notion of something all families MUST have is a product of US right-wing politics...

Have to say, I've never really thought about it. And it's a good question, I'll keep pondering. I've just put it to my husband and daughters - daughters shrugged in some puzzlement, DH said 'it means everybody in the house doing what the father says'.

I think he was joking.

Mol

Yeah I was asking to do with the way I hear it talked about in the media.

It seems a totally meaningless term to me.

The nuclear family is a fairly new thing. My values are connected to my real community and friends, and don't have anything to do with my 'family' which screwed me up in so many ways...although I've avoided getting criminal record..which will please the authorities presumably.

The government is to pump lots of money into some scheme to help problem 'families'.

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/problem-families-to-get-life-advice-6277142.html

Everytime I hear people use that phrase I don't feel comfortable.

Family values usually means sex scandals and bribes in brown envelopes. The Major Conservative government launched it's back to basics campaign on family values in the 1990's only to be inundated with illegitimate children. Usually in the US family values is associated with right wing politicians, often we see a high profile family values activist outed for sleeping with male prostitutes.

So i tend to associate the term with hypocrisy. First we need to set up a picture of the ideal family...the mum stays home and bakes, the dad works, meals are at the table, children skip to school and respect their parents views. Then we castigate anyone who doesn't fit into this model (deviant sexual behaviour, working mothers), we fail to live up to these standards but keep on presenting that public face.

I like to think of the model Marilyn French is rebelling against in The Women's Room.

Don't forget that everyone who picks up a guitar for any purpose other than playing Kumbyaa at Bible Camp is branded as 'anti-family' by the US right-wing.

Yes of course, you should be able to identify good music by the number of times Jesus is mentioned. Anything else is likely to lead to teenage moral corruption, dancing up close and the ultimate evil of sex before marriage.

Charlie Daniels?

This post has been removed.

Oh come on...that was funny. Weekend moderators over from the BBC?

Two strikes on my way out of the h2g2 door...

Actually please explain why it got hidden?

Go on...be big boys and explain on site rather than carry on with the cowardly e-mail and the normal anonymous...naughty oy we think you broke the rules e-mail...but I guess not.

This post has been removed.

Alfster,

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Personal family values? These are some things our family taught us.

Generosity to others, compassion and consideration, understanding how to be fair, both a good winner and a good loser. Respect for other people, to tell the truth. To take care of those younger or less able than yourself.

To enjoy life and share in its happiness, have fun if possible and make the most of what you have.

To be a good friend. To work hard.

Worthy of Kahill Gibran's 'The Profit', Lanzababy.
http://leb.net/mira/works/prophet/prophet.html

Or even 'The Desiderata' http://www.desiderata.com/ already.

I think we grew up in the same era Rudest Elf