h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I am at work and very very very stressed. We have the auditors and the project monitors in and they are making everyone's life hellish.

Feel like my head is going to explode and my boss's life could very well start to be threatened.

Any one got some instant stress relief tips?

When I'm stressed at work I find sitting on the toilet and having a good cry for a few minutes does me the world of good - not for everyone though, it works for me and my boss is still in the land of the living so she should be very grateful indeed!
Do you smoke? When I used to smoke I also found going outside with a colleague, having a good bitch about the job over a cigarette also worked wonders.

Fake a Nervous breakdown, try attempting hand stands on your desk and then when you fall over start to cry and mumble about the stress and the pain and misery of life. You get sympathy now, a good laugh later and maybe some time off work if youre lucky too!

Walk round the block...works for me.

I agree with Duncan, but it has to be a good brisk walk, not a gentle stroll. (It does for me, anyway).

I believe that some years ago some U.S. companies had 'rumpus rooms'. This was a room where employees could go and let rip - scream, yell and generally carry on. I think some rumpus rooms had inflatable punch-bag thingies, so people could pretend it was their boss or whoever was giving them grief. A short time with one of those would have been a great help to me on a number of occasions!

Hi 155839,

Tips for stress reduction:

*Sex.

*Alcohol

*Go to a gun range and blast a few targets (non-living targets of course).

*Hobbies

*Vacation

*Plan to quit just as the project is reaching the critical phase.

*Play practical jokes on the auditors, monitors, and managers.

*Leave "How to" and bomb making instructions lying around your desk.

*Dontusepunitionorspacesinyourmemos.

*Refer to yourself as zena goddess of fire in the third person, say "Zena goddess of fire says that the deadline is unachievable.

*Page yourself over the office intercom and don't alter your voice.

*Use the phrase "and do want fries with that?" whenever someone asks you for anything.

I hope these help,

Mostly

Take it seriously. Stress can have some tough consequences. I got a phonecall one day - one of those phonecalls that start "Your husband is fine, but..."

It is OK to say "no - that is an unreasonable request"; or to say: "I am committed to my work here, but you are asking me to take on too much"; or to say: "It is an unfortunate situation, but we have done our best, and our best is our best". And so on.

50 or 60 years from now, when you look back on your life - will you think "I should have worked harder at that job" or will you look back and think "I shouldn't have taken all that crap, I should have found myself a new job, I deserved better"

Take up meditation.
Get a new job.
Go to the doctor and ask to be signed off.
Do NOT take any pills.
Know that there are other human beings on the planet, not just auditors and sh*itheads.
Take time to keep us posted.

I did a course on 'Time Management' some time ago. A lot of the stuff didn't take - 'To Do' lists, planning my week. But there's one thing the lecturer said that did take. When asked to do conflicting things, say to your boss, 'That's fine, but 'X' also asked me to do *this* (show him/her the other job) and said that it was high priority, too. Which do I put on hold, this job or yours?' ('X' might even be your boss, BTW.) This puts responsibility for shelving a high priority task, and hence the stress of the decision, on to your boss's shoulders, not yours. It also stops you trying to do two 'high priority' tasks at the same time, hence removing more stress.

It can be hard to do this, and the results may not always be satisfactory. But if you get into the habit of letting your boss know that you *cannot* achieve the impossible, he/she might ease up on you.