h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I just nearly hurt myself laughing.

In the queue in front of me in the newsagent a man was holding some crayons. He asked the woman behind the till if he could please have a pad of paper.

"Do you want a plain one or a lined one?" she said.
"Do you have a plain one, please?", he replied.
"No."

By the time it was my turn to pay, there were tears in my eyes and I couldn't speak for trying not to laugh.

What have you heard?

It's more the funniest thing I've seen today - so far:

"There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable... to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs"

at posts one and two

Funniest thing I saw over the weekend while watching a Chris Rock comedy gig from 1999: he was talking about blokes and their porn stash and how well men hide it ('they go all Batman') that the only time a wife would find out about is when they find it in the VCR.

Camera cuts to the front row with a woman laughing while knowingly tapping her husbands leg and the husband stopping stock still with a rictus smile on his face...oh, the hurt ribs...that film director nailed that timing.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/supreme-court-upholds-freedom-of-speech-in-obsceni,17372/