h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Gooday everyone,

Does anyone out there know what and/or where EARLS COLNE is? Anyone been there, and if so what impressions of this lovely little village located in north-east Essex?

Walter (of Colne).

Sounds like a contradiction in terms:"lovely little village in north east Essex"

Gooday Wandrin'star,

You still out there then cobber? Contradiction in terms, indeed. Haveagoodweekend, and if by chance you have not encountered Earls Colne, and if you have a little time to spare, give it a bit of a go on website www.colnevalley.com.

Walter.

Sorry mate.
I grew up the other end of Essex. I left when I was 18 and went to uni and have not been back at all since I was 25 . I feel about the county, as Dr Johnson did of Scotland :the best thing about it is the road out.
This fits in with my nickname : the song contains the line "I've never seen a sight that didn't look better looking back"

Gooday Wandrin'star,

You are absolutely spot on with Lee Marvin's line (and what a great film that was) which is why it is not a good idea to ruin nostalgia and fond memories by revisiting the people and places of one's youth. Still, I must protest that Earls Colne IS a beaut village. Now, where in Essex were you from? And the venerable Dr Johnson was an umitigated s**t although I have to confess to being an admirer of his lines of invective. Take care,

Walter.

From 6 to 18 I lived in Leigh on sea. Nuff said.
Johnson had one or two good points , but filtered through the prig Boswell they're a bit difficult to find.

Gooday Wandrin'star,

Leigh on sea - a beaut little spot. You haven't told me if you ever chanced upon Earls Colne. I've just finished re-reading Johnson's Scottish travelogue which isn't half bad, as long as you aren't Scottish; even so, he conveys a potent image of post Culloden Scotland - no wonder the Scots dislike the English so much. Take care,

Walter.

www.Castlegar.com
That'll give you an idea where we're at in the Galaxy...
Hoppa's family is from Darlington.
I'm determined to get to England one of these days and am taking notes!
Is it really only, like, 700km from Scotland to Dover?
(We may lack History here, but we sure have Geography...)
I used to drive 630 km on Tuesday to take one class, then return Wednesday so I could work the other five days...also 124km (each way) to Grande Prairie coz they had a shopping mall, no big deal...
I just have trouble conceiving the scale, you see...
So many Places, so much History...The Empire! The Commonwealth!
....We shall defend our island...I'm steeped with 'background', if you will...
It's quite fascinating, but there just seem to be so many "locations" that with no frame of reference, I'm utterly baffled. I can read a map, but what I mean is: is it, say, 'four hours' from London to Manchester? How far/long from the East coast to the West? That sort of thing...Major cities are generally all that are shown, too; all the _Good Places_ get left out...
Anyways, cheers from the colonies!
PLT, Mick.

You can legally drive at up to 70 mph outside "built up areas" in England. So this could give you a rough idea of how long car journeys will take, but
1) Some motroways (especially M25 and M1) specialise in traffic jams
2) The A roads are better for sight-seeing, but slower
3) Don't bother going anywhere near Leigh on sea unless you have family links there too - tatty dormitory town. Nothing to see there and precious little to do. In fact, if I were you I'd leave out Essex altogther but for all I know Walter's Colne may be better - I have no memory of ever having been there

Gooday Wandrin'star,

Nothing to see in Essex and precious little to see!! You are being unusually mischevious this week. Take care,

Walter.

We have to keep this conversation going until it catches the eye of someone who's actually been there. It is odd that I can't dredge anything up that's good about Essex as I had quite a happy childhood (HATED secondary school, though)

Gooday Wandrin'star,

I agree, we ought to try to keep this conversation going, but it is a flickering flame at the moment. I have discovered that one way to attract attention is to (inadvertantly) give cause for offence, but I'm not sure it is the way to go here. I shared your loathing for secondary school, in fact it was a merciful release for all concerned when I was finally expelled. Which school did you attend? Take care,

Walter.

Westcliff High School
("If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything" - my grandmother's favourite saying)
Have a good day. I'm off for my breakfast

Gooday Wandrin'star,

I think your grandmother's advice was right on the button, but I guess everyone disregards it some time or another. I went to Colchester Grammar for a time before they decided, quite arbitrarily, that the school and me were totally incompatible. I just returned from a day in Launceston, so its time to head off for dinner, which I think it is my turn to cook -that's a pity because I'm fairly ordinary around the kitchen (and elsewhere too some would say). You take good care,

Walter.