h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Someone just rang my doorbell.
So I went and answered it, thinking at first that it might be my lodger who'd left his key at home again (we generlaly speaking donw get many visitors popping in unannounced).
It was a man.
He asked me 'Where is number 16'?
(I am number 18.
I didn't relaly know what to say, so i pointed out his error and pointed to the number '18' on my door.
Then I told him to get stuffed as he was clearly an idiot. I mean... Huh? err? what? why? how? err? huh? ,huh> It just then occured to me how tottally weird a thing this was to do; now number 16 is I'm sure, somewher up this road, but you will find It I guess by walking up and down and reading the house numbers, so why on earth would you ring a doorbell on a differnet house? I'm conussed.... confussed....

Is he still outside? What if he was Nighthoover and you turned him away?!

But where *is* number 16?

I have absolutely no idea!

Maybe Nighthoover lives at number 16!

Maybe he does! but wait, nighthoover's not a number- he's a free..er hooverman

Maybe the man was the Messiah, telling us all that Nighthoover will return to us in 16 days....while 2legs is working

16 days!? *faints

Of course! June 17th! In accordance with the propecy!

I meant to type "prophecy", and the great and all-knowing Nighthoover stole the letter "h" from the word! Praise him! Praise him!

its like *faints*

Should it be "Praise 'im! Praise 'im!"?

Oh wonderous 'oover of the Nig't!

I propose we form a cult, wherebye we all visit random people's houses and ask where another number in their street is

Could catch on...

O' yea'! I 'adn't noticed t'at!

T'at's somet'ing to do at t'e next meet...

almost as good as when I and vogonpoet asked people in London at random if they were ngihthoover nighthoover lets go do it!

Sorry, that should have read;



I propose we form a cult, werebye we all visit random people's ouses and ask were anoter number in their street is

"o yea', I 'adn't t'ougt o dat!"

2legs, you've just been cased by a potential burglar!

happens all the time

ing toerags.

They ring bell or knock. If no-one answers, they go round the back & look for open windows, insecure door, etc. In and away with your valuables.

If you answer the door they ask a dumb question like "Where is number 16"??

Same thing happened to me last year, answered my door to a scruffy kid about 12. Girl of about 14 waiting at gate. Boy looks nervous, asks if Mark lives here. I say No. He asks if he can have a drink of water for his sister, and can he use my toilet. I said No, go home. He walks off. I shut and lock door. Hard-hearted that I am, years ago I'd have let them in, but not these days.

Be careful who you open your door to, 2legs.

"Be careful who you open your door to, 2legs."

Alternativley, 'be careful who you open your legs to 2doors'