h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Many years ago I used to be a pub cleaner and called myself a 'Public house furishings engineer'

I know of a few more, but I'll let others mention those. What fancy names for common jobs do you know, or have made up for your own job.

Emmily

or even 'Public house furnishings engineer'

Billing Assistant in the Financial Team of The Court of Protection.

In other words, I add stuff up.

Site Security Officers ~ 'after-hours telephone-minders'

Milkman - Calcium lactate dispensing operative

morning LW

Postman/woman - Written communication and parcel despencing oprative.

the dinnerladies that look after kids at lunchtimes are often called midday supervisors now

stewardess / steward = flight attendant

receptionist is now apparently "The vice president in charge of first impresions"

Police - 'Community and Race Relations Leaison Officers'

The canteen ladies at my last work was called Directors of Human Consumption.

Birmingham New Street station frequently have Revenue Protection Staff on duty at the moment - ie, you have to show your ticket to the ticket collector at the barrier.

Deb

I still reckon the best is housewives requesting to be called "household executives" especially when said housewife has two full-time maids and an extra one for the weekends. Brings me to tears every time...

Some good ones there

Another one for house-wifes - domestic engineers

I've recently been 'taken over' by another department at work, called human resources, which is another word for personnel department.

Emmily

A very old joke here in Holland: the 'German' name for a switchman is

'Reichseisenbahnknodenpunkt-hin-und-herschieber'

which would roughly translate into English as

'national railroad junction to-and-fro pusher'.

I've heard 'vision technician' for window cleaner.

If a housewife has several maids, I don't think the phrase household executive seems wrong.

The local record store has a sign saying they are looking for revenue protection officers or some such. Which seems to mean store detectives.

Sanitation engineer - janitor

i use to be a "account evaluation and recovery agent"

aka :ducks from things going to be thrown at him: a bill collector