h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I noticed the other day that my girlfriend has a packet of unused oral contraceptives (femodette, I think. http://www.tiscali.co.uk/lifestyle/healthfitness/health_advice/netdoctor/archive/100004336.html). What would happen to my body if I - a 19 year old male of average weight/height/fitness/health) - started taking them at the recommended rate and dosage?

Don't worry, I'm not going to try it; I'm just interested...

No! You try it, and then tell us.

Off you pop...

B

My personal prediction is that I'd grow bigger breasts and have a higher voice, but I'm not willing to try it I'm afraid

Wouldn't mind having a go with the male one when it comes out though.

That link to femodette isn't broken: the closing bracket ) needs to be deleted.

http://www.tiscali.co.uk/lifestyle/healthfitness/health_advice/netdoctor/archive/100004336.html

I'm not sure that your voice would change... maybe... The Pill is just a combo of hormones which you have in your body but at a higher dose than usual. You probably would grow some little boobies, but the Pill hasn't made mine grow any bigger. (Rats!) You're body hair may lessen and of course you'd be moody and more emotional than most males who run mainly off of testosterone... I would think...

I think it'll be much like 5 pints of lager - it'll make you talk crap and lose the ability to drive.

B

I reckon you could add erectile dysfunction to the list of symptoms.

So in one way, it would be an effective contraceptive

sprout

Male to Female Transsexuals are prescribed a modified form of female contraceptive pill in the run up to the operation, but only under medical supervision as it can cause deep vein thrombosis which can be fatal. It does cause the growth of breasts and erectile dysfunction. The most noticeable effect is the redistribution of body fat. To the hips and buttocks and not the waist and stomach as is normal with men.

There was a case a few years ago where men working in a factory where the pills were made started showing the symptoms described above, and that was just from inhaling the dust.

However, once the supply of testosterone is cut off, then the effect can be quite dramatic. If a boy were to take the contraceptive pill before puberty, the effect would be equally as dramatic.

Donald

But you might suddenly find that you can multi task, sort the colours from the whites and hold an inane telephone conversation for two hours. Oh, you would probably develop a strange urge to always put the toilet seat down.

spidey

PS don't take cimetadine indegestion tabs for any length of time either as they can have strange effects on blokes, they are an androgene inhibitor.

Well, have a look at what happens to Gaz in that BBC show Two Pints of Lager... when he takes oestrogen pills

Did anyone else hear that soy milk contains loads of female hormone precursors...

Warn all vegans!

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Well, it would probably still effectively stop you from getting pregnant, but it would also give you an irrational urge to go out to Top Shop and buy a bag and a pair of shoes that match, and want to start drinking Bacardi Breezers.