h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

ing computers, ing oracle databases in particular with ing new technology for which they don't ing provide proper information and what information there is is ing incomplete at the crucial ing moment so I look like a ing idiot cos it won;t ing work and ing managers don;t understand that using ing edge technology means that it is ing unstable and no one knows what the ing hell it is doing. 5 ing times I've installed each with a different ing -up.

set ORACLE_HOME =

ing Dissertations

we hates them, we curses them

Ah! well, we now know that the works
which is more than CD player does
Smudger,

Another one!!!! Have you noticed how much louder the TV adverts are?????????
Your sitting back all relaxed watching a movie, then WOW! the volume belts out the adverts

I have a theory on this.........Its because they want us to hear their addy while we are through in the kitchen putting the kettle on

(I mean thats what the adverts are for aint it
Smudger,

Hey smudger,
You've almost got enough annoying things for a book.
maybe we could start a shorter thread called 'what doesn't annoy smudger'
DM

OOPS! Your right DM

Im starting to sound like Victor Meldrew now

So I will now step aside, and allow other folk to let us know what things Annoy them!! This could be be a really good thread we have going here
Smudger,

Hi guys you probably dont know me but a big to anyone who wants one.

I tell you what annoys me that bloody Crazy Frog Ringtone advert

Hi Smudger, there was a discussion on ask h2g2 about the ad on tv being so loud only recently.

Actually, is a conspiracy by battery manufacturers. Batteries don't last long when you have to fiddle with the volume constantly .

I used to be annoyed by the frequency and length of the ad breaks, but soon realised that the breaks on Sky 1 are now just long enough for you to get changed out of your work clothes, cook dinner and sit down to eat it before the programme comes back on.

If the breaks on sky 1 are so long, why do you bother to watch it in the first place ?

ohhh i found a new thread!

things that annoy me? hummmmm

cress - what use does it have for sake???

that bev, kev, kev, bev advert!!! i don't even know what the hell they are trying to sell!

the fact that even though I KNOW I washed my skirt for work, that late on Sunday evening it appears magically in the washing basket!

Books that are not bath proof – well where else am I going to read them? The bathroom is the only room I can ever get to myself for 5 minutes!

That will do for now!

Thank you

Aww Smudger I was only joking,
Come back we love ya!!
DM

Hi there DM
Ive got another one, and its going as I write
Its that ing DOG next door it bark non stop for hours on end!!

In fact I had the police to his door last week, as he was playing his music so loud to cover the noise of his dog. I phone him and asked him poiltely to turn it down as MK2 was trying to sleep (she is up most nights, in fact we both are, as she has emphysma)

Any way, next thing he is banging and kicking our my door, with his enormous cousin (who lives with him?)When I answer they both try to break in past me??? So we called the police, who then came and told us that he was in the wrong by attacking two disabled people, and if he does anything like that again, for us to call them on this special quick response number
Smudger,

Looking forward to seeing you on the next episode of 'Neighbours from Hell'.
But seriously your neighbour sounds like a complete tosser.
and he lives with his cousin?!?
Sounds a bit 'deliverence' to me.
DM

Another annoying Job-centre related thing,
The Job centre I use has recently changed it's singning-on system, I was expressly told "you must be here 10 minutes before your signing time, If not we will have to re-arrange your signing time and you may lose your benefits".
The day of signing: I walk in 10 minutes before my signing time and hand over my card, then I have 10 mins to wait until my 'written in stone' signing time...
25 minutes later the staff seem bored and decide to see me.
Lady at Job-centre: "what have you done to find work in the last 2 weeks"
Me: "Nothing"
Lady at Job-centre: "Why not?"
Me: "Because I've already been offered a job, but I don't start 'till the 21st"
Lady at Job-centre: "Oh, I didn't read that bit, ok sign here"

Total appointment time: 1 minute
waiting time: 25 minutes

I was as you can imagine very annoyed by the whole process.
DM

Ah! Yes! DM, the job centre brigade
They seem to be trained in making folk feel very insignificant!!
I remember falling out with a 20 year old snotty bitch whe I was "called in" for an interview.

She asked for my green slip (where you show all the jobs you have applied for) I opened up my case with a stack of letters (rejection ones)so many that they would never fit on their silly wee form!

She gets snotty, so I ask to see the manager, and in fact I made so much noise that he came running out of his cosy wee office, and tried to shepherd me away into a room?
I got a standing evasion from all the other punters in there at the time
Smudger,

Nice one, Fortunately my dallience with the job-centre will soon be at an end as I'm starting a new job a week tomorrow!
Yay
DM

Hey! Well done DM!!

Let us know how you are doing with it! Good Luck
Smudger,

"The Teaspoon thing reminds me of a comedy sketch, where they drain all of the water out of Loch Ness in order to find Nessie, and all they find is 30ft long teaspoon.

Though i can't remember which comedian it was by."

***************

Michael Bentine, "It's a Square World", circa 1969-70.

The BBC WIPED all the tapes of Bentine's TV work and you can only approximate his comic genius now by reading the scripts, closing your eyes and imagining...

bloody vandals, huh?

That's an annoying thing in itself, I guess: all the good stuff the BBC chose to wipe and delete in the sixties because they thought it was "ephemeral" and didn't see a reason to keep it. All of Michael Bentine, most of Peter Cook and Dudley Moore, a goodly amount of early Spike Milligan....

Bentine, right up till he died, alleged that wiping his TV shows was politically motivated; you don't need to read conspiracy into it, I'd say it was just a routine cock-up. (MB's logic: he was a right-wing political thinker and activist - but a bloody good comic, it has to be said - working for a left-wing employer, so the nasty old BBC tried to force him into conformity by refusing him any further work AND took a spiteful revenge by wiping his work, thus depriving him of the income from repeat fees. Why do I sense a certain paranoia here?)