h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

how exactly DO you tie a tie? and for that matter, how about a bow tie? (please use easy details)
P.S. sry if this was ever posted, nvr found it

Ok, a brief text description of the 'four-in-hand' which is what you would use to tie a school tie.

Nomenclature:

The tie: The article with which one wished to adorn their neck. For best results use silk in a colour an style which suits the occasion and shirt worn. The word 'style' does not imply anything that could be described as 'novelty'.

The thick end: The larger end of the tie.

The thin end: The smaller end of the tie.


Step 1)
Put the tie around your neck with the seam towards the body.

Step 2)
Locate the diagonal seam on the front of the tie and adjust the lengths until it is at the top of the thick end of the tie.

Step 3)
Wrap the thick end round the thin end once, crossing at the diagonal seam. If the thick end started off on the right hand side of the thin end it should now be on the left hand side with a loop of fabric around the thin end.

Step 4)
Feed the thick end through the loop around your neck (not the newly created loop around the thin end). Pull all the way through.

Step 4)
Post the thick end of the tie through the loop of fabric around the thin end, pull all the way through.

Step 5)
While holding the thin end; adjust the knot until it reaches the cut-away on your shirt collar. This should cover your top button if the button is done up.

Step 6)
Pass the thin end of the tie through the small loop of stitched fabric on the back of the thick end.

Et voila; une cravatte.

Liam.

lol ty very much
gracias
danke

Thats the basic knot. But sophisticated people use the Windsor Knot.

http://www.tie-a-tie.net/windsor.html

Just to complicate matter. My Regimental Tie demands a slightly different method. In both these examples the thick end starts on the right as it will with most men who are right handed. To put my Regimental Tie on, the thick end must be on the left, which is not so easy for a right handed person.

The tie has alternate coloured diagonal stripes of three colours, one thick, two thin. The sequence of the stripes will be different depending on which side the thick end starts on. Get it wrong and it can be an expensive mistake once you get into the Mess. It wont take more than five minutes for someone to point out that you have got it wrong and tradition demands you get your wallet out.

Donald

There's no EG Entry on this complicated matter? Perhaps someone should do something about that...
HF

Ohhhhh, you mean I spent the whole of school wearing a Windsor Knot and not knowing! How posh of my duckky!

Zantic

There's A1990 and A360550. I think the first is a candidate for an update, though - it's brief to the point of terseness!

RF

sure those are good bits, but they dont tell u HOW to tie a tie, only ABOUT tying them. somebody should make one about tying ties...

Tieing a bow tie is harder than it looks. The knot is similar to that used to get a bow in your shoelaces - actually it's the same but it certainly feels different when you're putting something round your neck!

1) Sling tie over shoulder and run out house because you are 10 minutes late for work.

2) Hit motorway and attempt to steer with knees while manipulating your tie.

3) Remove security badge which has become inexorably tangled with neckwear.

4) Grab steering wheel to avoid drifting into yuppy in BMW doin 120mph in outside lane. Lose tie down driver's door pocket.

5) While retrieving tie, find cassette tape you haven't listened to for yonks. Plug it (the tape, not the tie, into the stereo)

6) Forget about tie for 20 minutes while you listen to 'Hits 1992'. By this time you are on a quiet single-carriageway and ready to steer with knees again.

7) Align thick end so it is touching fly zip. Wrap it round the thick end and then fling it over right shoulder (left shoulder if you are less sinister than myself).

8) Swerve dangerously near lamppost while attempting to extricate tie from seatbelt.

9) When you reach traffic lights, apply handbrake and pull thick end back up the middle. Tighten knot, grab thin end to zipper tie upwards.

10) Realise thin end is now longer than thick end and resolve to tuck it inside shirt rather than letting it hang.

11) Attempt to explain to attractive brunette in adjacent car why you are undoing your shirt buttons while grinning at her inanely and 'Deep' by East 17 plays on your car stereo. For the second morning running.

B

Or the *safe driving* way:

1) Sling tie over shoulder and run out house because you are 10 minutes late for work.

2) Leave it there until you arrive at work. Park, put gearstick to neutral, apply handbrake, switch off engine.

3) Tie tie. Remember to put rear view mirror back to original position afterwards.

4) Chance of living to a ripe old age increases dramatically.

RF

Well, what's the fun in that?

B