h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

...on the quiet?

You need to buy Microsoft's Tractor simulator software. The percieved fidelity is mind blowing.

NO-ONE can drive a tractor on the quiet.

B

yep, trust me on that.

but if you can drive a car, or a landrover or something, then tractors (except for those massive poncey ones which are like saloon cars in the cab) are easy

Look up your nearest agricultural college.

I thought you already had in your misspent youth. By "on the quiet" you mean without your FIL knowing so that you can jump into the cab and look professional before your toddler nephews learn??

Got it in one....no way am I going to be on tea and sandwiches duty when they are bringing in the hay!

>>>no way am I going to be on tea and sandwiches duty when they are bringing in the hay!

You do realise that every single person involved is going to be fighting for a seat on the tractor?

It's the cushiest job going, considering the others involve either standing on top of a swaying, unstable pile of hay on a ricketty trailer or trying to heave incredibly heavy bales up above your head, trying to pass them to the guy on top of the trailer.

Even if you _do_ learn, unless you happen to own the aforementioned tractor you'll be extremely lucky to get within 10 feet of the cab!

Ah - enourmous round bales, many tractors

Oooo! The posh way of doing it!

... to go on holidays on a farm. Good luck!

When I was a teenager hay was gathered in armfuls, tied in a shook(?) and stood to dry before being loaded on the wagon. The we had 1 cwt rectangular bales which you needed really srtong arms to lift over your head up to the person wavering on top of the wagon. Then we had those great big round ones that need a forklift truck and a lot of care and now local farmers in Lincs have huge rectangular bales -each one like a haystack - that I think weigh a ton. They've certainly killed tractor drivers when they fell on them and the tractors were also written off. I think you should stay away from the hay altogether, whether the sun is shining or not, and volunteer to pull a trailer full of other crops - rice would probably be good given the amount of rain we've had this year.

Check out:

www.diggerland.com

Lots of tractors, but with diggery bits on them too.

oooooooooooo I JCBs