h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Is there any basic guidelines to Vogon Poetry?
i am trying write one that describes a family of snails and their meeting with the dangers of today - and i haven't got a clue as how to begin.

Is there a "Vogon Poetry For Dummies" book i can buy somewhere?

Thankful for suggestions Xiu

Hmmm, interesting. I've actually written some Vogon love (???!?) poetry. Yes, I know Vogons can't love, but the poem is what they might perceive as love/cohabitation/mindless shouting.

I understand that the basic rule behind Vogon poetry is that it has to be very poor.

I think the basic logic of it is that you have to be a vogon in order to write vogon poetry. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think I'm right.

This maybe a stupid question, but what on earth is Vogon poetry? Sorry to interrupt.

They are the aliens who demolish the earth in the Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy book.

Okay, sorry to be so ignorant. But ignorance is bliss - I recommend it without hesitation.

Would definitely reccomend reading the h2g2 books as they are excellent.

Yeah, I'll definitely get round to it someday - I'm reading "Galilee" by Clive Barker now, though. It's great - I recommend it, surprisingly.

I guess that would be sound logic. If you wanted to name something that was written poorly, you would put an adjective similar to 'bad' in front of it, giving you a phrase like 'bad poetry'.

However, since you would have to be a Vogon to write 'Vogon poetry', and Vogons, by thier very nature, are incapably of writing poetry that isn't bad; you would, if attempting to write 'Vogon-like poetry', have to write it very poorly, which is the idea I was attempting to communicate in my previous post.

(Mmmm, now that's what I call sentence structure.)

The books are good, but the two radio series (which I understand were Douglas Adams' original output and are available on tape from the BBC) were indescribably great. The first episode begins with the demolition of the planet Earth, and things sort of develop from there.

Vogon poetry is dangerous. And awful. Like Vogons.