h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Now I like a good conspiracy as much as the next person. But usually in the form of entertainment rather than something to get seriously worked up about.

But.

Last night, C5 (UK) had a top ten conspiracy theories program. Somewhere in the middle of it was David Icke's one about the British Royal Family being Lizards who do black magic and eat babies. Or something. The or something is important because as soon as he started speaking, the picture started breaking up and showing interference! Now, as Mr. Icke had just said that he wasn't going to fully explain this belif since C5 would only edit him either a) C5 was exhibiting a more advanced sense of humour than usual or b) The Royal Family of GB is in fact an Lizard Family and didn;t want us to hear the details.

Spooky!

Shape-shifting reptilians, rather.
Well known fact.

That didn't happen Ictoan must have been the CIA mind control electromagnetic energy emitting from you TV set...



I personally like the anti Elvis is alive theory.

"if he was going to fake his own death then he would have though up something more glamourous than keeling over whilst having a S**T!*

it did, it did, it did!

Personally I was just awestruck at the effort and research that went into the rankings. Hmm, lets do a google search for the terms in question and get the page rankings!
I wonder if google know they are being used like this!

(Shape shifting? So what do they look like in their non-reptillian forms then?)

So how did Mr Icke come by this information, then? How do they keep it covered up? How many people are in on it, and how is their loyalty assured? Where did they come from, and when?

I mean, the Mafia shot JFK is at least *plausible*. But shapeshifting reptilians?

Noggin

I believe he got it from meditation or trance hwilst communicating with whomever it is he communicates with. I'll bet his website tells you, or if you ask nicely he might just beam the information directly to your mind.

Mind you, the Royal Family are trying to do a damn good impression of social shape shifting since the war. Not doing too badly if you consider where they started from. Oh, and being reptillian shape shifters is, of course, why they had to kill Diana when she left as otherwise she'd have told everyone.
Although presumably they thought Fergie wouldn;t be believed and left her alone.

Anyone who watched that Geoffery Archer thing last year would have remembered it was Prince Philip and his evil consortium that bumped her off!!!

If you were a reptilian, possessed with the power to shift your shape, would you really choose to look like Prince Phillip?

I see what you are saying, it's the perfect disguise isn't it?

Ah, but of course. That's what they want you to think.
It's all just a front.

although as it's a disguise it might be a back.

If they had recruited top notch security consultants they'd have done the sides as well.

Liam.

Pfft.

reminds me of a someone I knew in the RAF at a Tornado base. The Queen was visiting and just a day or so before hand the planned walkabout route changed. This annoy the staff greatly because they had carefully repainted all the Tornados she would see. But they had only painted the side facing her planned route and now they had to paint the other half as well .

Surely we shouldn't be showing shape-shifting reptiles around our military installations .

Ah, but the military are in on it. It's all a conspiracy, dontchaknow!

See! SEE!

I see, it all makes sense now! Who else is in on the conspiracy?

This whole Community, now.

Conspiracies of conspiracies, when I just tried to post, it said I was logged out of h2g2, but the SSO greeting-bar-thing said otherwise.

They're after me!
*keeps hush on the matter, nervously looking over his shoulder all the time*