h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I approach you the comedians and comediennes of h2g2 to come up with a great and witty reply to this sign someone has posted on there office door.

"Like a Multinational corperation, I have offices in many places"

I've be toying with the idea, "like the UN, we don't care" but I'm sure you can come up with something better.

And like most multinational corporations, your best hope for contacting me is to telephone someone in New Delhi

Traveller in Time shutting down
"Multitaxual collecting tomorrow at 9:00 "

the head thinks he's separate from the rest of the body..

Hmm...
"Like a Multinational corperation, I have offices in many places"

How about:

- Unlike a multinational corporation, I can't spell 'corporation'

- Like a multinational corporation, I have no memory, no conscience, and spend a large amount of my income avoiding tax

- Like a little corner shop, I'm full of cheap shit

- One day, I may do some work in one

- ... fingers in many pies, and my nose up many, many asses

- And in every one of those places, people hate me

Much depends on whether you like the person involved, whether you're scared of them, whether they can get you fired, etc.

SoRB

PS.. This is the loo.

Like a Multinational corporation, I have offices in many places
...and can get 12 hours out of a Vietnamese girl for under $10!

.. Like a multinational corporation, I'm bland, have no sense of humour, haven't a clue what I'm doing and inside I'm smouldering with passive aggression.

Might not fit.

Just scribble out the word 'offices' and replace it with 'orifices'

"Like a Multinational corperation, I have offices in many places"

---Please wipe your feet on exit
---And it is important they never find out about each other
---And my Father's House has many mansions too
---And I pay tax in none of them
---Man-like, utopian, colonial traitor So misplace fine fancy.
---So fancy Colonial traitor, announce pimp-like calamities.

Like a multinational corporation Im hated in many places

...I am sworn at in many tongues.

....my name is associated with cheap tat and malpractice across the globe.

...I have no soul, no conscience and no one likes me unless I pay them to do so.

"Like a Multinational corporation, I have offices in many places. I bring hope and happiness to thousands of employees, and aspirational lifestyle goods and services to my many satisfied customers, whilst doing so in an environmentally-sensitive way."

There. That'll give him/her something to live up to.

RF

"Like a Multinational corperation, I have offices in many places"

...but I have a very small penis.

Y.

for the last one!

zdt

Hmm...I think I'm going to have to with Whiskey's suggestion.

But they were all great guys and I say that in a more patronising way to some more than others.

Thanks for your help.