h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

And the question is:

Should I get a haircut?

Rather depends on whether you need one.

What does your hair look like at the moment?


Geggs

Errr yes..if you need/want one that is

Yes, but just one

Ahem.

Upstairs or downstairs?

Geggs, that was a simple yes/no question... why complicate things?

Because life is complicated. There are very few simple yes or no answers to anything.


Geggs

I think that before attempting to answer this deep and spiritual question we need to asertain more inputs from the questioner and their enviroment and by that I mean the ........

If we pay due respect to the question, and contemplate not only the two percieved options of 'yes', or 'no', but also the myriad potential combinations of techniques that one could ask to be performed on one's hair, along with the subtle nature of many of the subdivided integrial partitions of each of these individual techniques, alongside the almost endless combinationsof these three potential aspects of the 'yes' desicion on the initially simple question, then there is much to consider.
Plus, of course, the action of 'no' itself has manafold conatations and possibilities that must be all explored in their own right, and then, duely, refrenced and compaired back in all possible permitations to the many permitations of teh potential consequences as a result of style, which we recieve from teh potential combinations of the three main underlaying factors and subdivisions thereof in the 'yes' group.
These must then be compaired back, to each option of both camps, from the perspective of each pro/con of each compaired to each, to give a comparatitive corylation coefficient, most simply expressed as:
N1/N2 X N2/N1/Y2Y1 Plus Y3X N1/N2 over Y1XY2 over three fifths of teh total availible possibilities, multipled by teh diversity coefficient of each group subsections nomial relationship to the sumn of the divided Chi squares of teh total number of coefficients of the alternatite camp.

This can then be compaired for each option within each camp, between all the options within each of the camps, and the total overall coefficient given can then be used to compair the comparasons of each to the other.

And then there is always the maybe camp! ie Maybe I can get it cut,depending on whether the hairdressers is open, whether it is raining, whether the bank is open and I can get some money out and whether I can be bothered to go!
So that makes it a definite maybe then!!!!

And, of course, that any decision made is merely of a provisional and temporary nature.

Were you to decide not to cut your hair, that decision would, uneventually, be reversed when you decide that you do need a haircut, though that day maybe several weeks future.

Equally, if you opt for the haircut, then you are just prepetuating the continual round of hair cuting. Even if you have your hair cut now, there will come a day when it must be cut again.

So, to sum up, whatever choice you make now, you will have a haircut eventually. Time will tell.


Geggs

If my right hon. friend The 'Mazin' MadFiddler would pause for a moment to reflect on the words of wisdom that my learned friend 2legs has contirbuted, I think he might not be so keen to rush to his giddy position.

Yeah, its only hair. you'll probably grow some more unless you go suddenly bald which is unlikely in the general scheme of things. the other disaster is that you might die bfore you get the chance to grow your hair back but you'l be completely dead and not that bothered about your hair anyway.

I say go for it

The less hair other people have the cooler I look.

I don't want to appear foolish, but what is a haircut? I think I used to know the answer, but cannot recall what it was.

Well, it's just that thing you get...
You know, scissors and such.

it looked so simple, this question that is, and then i got hooked by the second post. It opened up so many posibilities that in turn lead to the greatest ever philosophical writing based on the most ludicrous assumptions ever achieved by an insane mind(2legs). what cruel hindrance is it of mine to walk into the right threads at the wrong time? or the wrong room at the right pace or perhaps it is this obsession with right and wrong that is tipping the balance of and ? who knows, not me, oh well, whatever, nevermind about the b......cos maggie i wish i'd never seen you face perhaps if she hadn't cut her hair that would never have happened and thus i have reached the answer through procrastinated thoughts, you should not get your haircut by a hairdresser called Rod 'Viscious' Cobain

and why are they called 'Hairdressers' when all they do is cut bits off and not put anything on

Hmmm... that's a poser... Should you, Yael, get a haircut?...

I'll try (and fail) to answer that without being influenced by other previous replies.

First I must determine the true meaning behind that question... not as simple as it first seems.

The trouble all seems to stem from that first word... "should". "Will" you get a haircut?... most likely. "When" is another matter. If time is irrelevant then "Yes" would seem to be the answer for safety and hygenic reasons although not necessary of course. You could go through the rest of your existance and never cut your hair again. It could be predicated on your religious or philosophical beliefs that you shouldn't cut your hair. If you believe that a diety will pick you up by long tresses of your hair and take you to a better place, then "NO, you shouldn't!" would probably be correct.

Hmmm.. As I ponder on this I see that no matter what answer one gives, one must make some very profound assumptions.

One would also be assuming that You would be getting 'YOUR' hair cut... You might be thinking of a housepet... Maybe you are considering getting your dogs hair cut. ("for my pet" could be a clause you left out of the question.)

It would be easy to make an assumption similar to the one that follows: "This person is tired of hir hair style/length/shape...whatever, but is indecisive enough to want input from veritable strangers and is probably thinking that "a change would be good, but I'm just not sure yet."

But all of that would be assumption. I should not even assume that you are a person, for all I know you may be some alien mechanoid instilled with artificial intelligence... Or you may only be echoes inside of my possibly damaged mind... Or for all I know, I may not truly exist and all that I think that I experience may only be shadows in a fevered dream of some other being.

::shakes head:: I don't like where that was going...

Now where was I?... I don't know.. ok.. back to the beginning... "Should you get a haircut?" I think I'll just have to say:


Wibble!

CZ

You could always keep the hair, and then throw it over your carpets, and hoover it up during the night

Well, since this thread seems to be deceased, here is the final count of the votes (which is also the only count, but final count sounds better):

Yes: 3
N1/N2 X N2/N1/Y2Y1 Plus Y3X N1/N2 over Y1XY2 over three fifths of teh total availible possibilities, multipled by teh diversity coefficient of each group subsections nomial relationship to the sumn of the divided Chi squares of teh total number of coefficients of the alternatite camp (at least that's what I think the answer was, though it's pretty hard to tell): 1
Maybe: 1
You should not get your haircut by a hairdresser called Rod 'Viscious' Cobain: 1
Wibble: 1
Doesn't know / isn't sure / didn't really answer: 4



So all things considered, I think I'll listen to my mom and go cut my hair tomorrow.

I would like to thank all who had taken part in this short yet fascinating phylosophycal debate, and contributed their somewhat deranged thoughts on this important subject. If you ever have any further thoughts on this subject... well, then good for you.

The antihyperpolysyllabicsesquipedalianist answer is, of course, "yes".