h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

well, it's not too bad when you consider the average sportsteacher. poor guys... they are plagued by colleagues who are all two bamboo-sticks short of a nunchaku.

Those who can, do
Those who can't, teach
Those who can't teach, teach PE

You know, theres a sad thing that happens at many schools... P.E. teachers without a full class load end up teaching science classes. I had one 'science' teacher who's main responsibility was to teach young girls to wave flags and spin fake rifles, aka the 'Drill Team'. She accually took me out of class one day because I was correcting her too often!!! She understood very little of what she was teaching. Optics and electricity were foreign to her, unfortunately she didn't realise it.
She literally didn't know what side of the mirror her reflection was on.



(BTW that's more complicated than you may think).

Yeah that happened at my school as well although they restricted the p.e. teachers to biology, quite a sight seeing someone who look like a russian womens shotputter screaming at a class full of people about the water cycle or whatever.

From memory the PE teacher in my school taught Geograpy, badly.

I once told my friend that he was "as funny as an empty can of paint".

Another friend said, "What's so funny about an empty can of paint?"

"Nothing," I replied. "That's the whole idea."

You can adapt that however you like.

he missed right ferry


one time
I was on a ferry to an island and some one was on wrong the ferry. he went left instead of right on the docks.

I saw this guy drivin around, I was driving behind him. he came to a stop sign and stopped..............

I went around him

He's got a photographic memory.......but he left the lens cap on.

Give a penny for his thoughts and you get change.

He got the sack from M and M's for throwing away the W's.

Kept staring at the orange juice carton because it said 'concentrate'

He read on the shampoo bottle "Lather, Rinse, Repeat"... No one's seen him since.

Jokes too?

He was stopped for driving at high speed in the middle of the road.

He explained: "When I got my driving licence form it said 'tear along the dotted line'."

F

Has anyone get any more insults on any topic? Here are some I found on the net:

To a nature lover: How can you love nature when it did THAT to you?

He's dark and handsome. When it's dark, he's handsome.

I'm sorry you're ugly, but I'm sorrier because I have to look at you.

He's better at sex than anyone. Now all he needs is a partner.

When reviewing a book Dr Johnson (I think, someone will correct me if not) wrote:
"This book has some good and original parts."
"Unfortunately the parts which are good are not original and the parts which are original are not good."

F

I thought he was a young man of promise, but it turns out he is a young man of promises.


Arthur James Balfour on Winston Churchill.

A bit 40 watt

Last night I heard someone refer to one his more boring friends as being like the Olympic Torch - he never goes out!

For someone with a very limited attention span...

They have a 1k buffer.

He/She has bats in the belfry


and


She/He is not playing with a full deck