h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

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hi.

im in one of those relationships and have been for the past 10 years.
basically, he goes out to work and i stay at home. he earns and i dont.
but everything is in my name (house, bills, etc etc etc) as its all mine from a former marriage.
his main wage is paid into my account and i deal with everything except things for the car, but i do pay the car insurance by direct debit..
he has a little part time job and he keeps that wage for himself and uses that for petrol, car tax and anything else he wants.

if for any reason, he doesnt get his part time wage, then im expected to find the money from my account to cover his needs.
which is ok right now as finances are pretty good, but there have been times in the past when we have been in serious money trouble. but with careful money management, ive managed to get us back in the black.

both of his wages arent that wonderful. we arent able to get the porsche just yet or the holiday home in the maldives. but we manage. its a good job that im low maintenace

i hope this helps.

h

For a while, we had a wallet, where we put roughly equal amount of cash, to go towards food and shared expenses. We split the bills pretty equally.

Now that we're married, we split the bills according to income, so he pays a bit more than I do, since he earns more. Not really a big difference, as I see it.

We did have some big money talks to start out with - his dad had some very weird ideas and didn't exactly do his share, and that rubbed off - but we got it sorted.

Basic idea is you pay your part of the shared stuff according to what you bring home, be it student loan or salary.

You could also have a look at the legislation of Sweden, where cohabitation is pretty often regarded as being married, at least in most money matters.

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I think you are right All - cohabitation is treated differently in differently parts of the world - and unlike the UK in some countries unmarried cohabiting couples do have the same legal rights as married couples. It is something it is important I consider in my research

I think I fall outside your category of respondees... I live in Sweden



(Sorry to appear as I'm All, still, I haven't removed my Halloween disguise because it is eerily fitting. Usually people know me as Milla)

What's with the phantom er? I didn't see anything wrong with that post!

How curious. Posts 1 and 3 are being 'temporarily hidden'. I didn't get to see them but I can't imagine that they would have been anything offense based on the replies here so far.

az

Oops, 'would have been anything offensive'.

az

posting 1 wasnt offensive.

it was a general enquiry about how unmarried heterosexual couples managed their finances.
whether they were doing thing any different to those who are married.

it definitely wasnt worth yikesing for being a bad posting.

Well, okay, I'll put in my

Nog and I have been living together for just over two years now. And it's very simple. We split the cost 50/50 for the rent, bills, food and whatever we buy together for the house that we both want to buy. Like new sheets, towels, a new table or stereo - stuff like that.

I thought it was very sweet about a year ago when Nog also said he was happy to share the cost of cat food and vet bills with me - before that this had always been my responsibility. But he said he felt like my cats were now a part of his 'family' so he wanted to contribute.

Back when I was married I also had this same system going on. That after all the household basics were paid for we were left with our own personal money to spend as we pleased. Saved arguments at the time, for example when my ex-husband wanted to spend $2,000 on a set of fabulous drums (he was a musician) and when I wanted to spend money on an industrial sewing machine. There was no problem as we were spending our personal money left over from having taken care of house and living expenses. I've never had a joint bank account with anybody.

Also, to me it means a bit more when your partner buys you a special gift, knowing that it just didn't come out of the 'joint account' - that he had actually spent his own personal money on it.

I think it would be a very different situation if children were involved, but if it's just two adults sharing their lives then having separate bank accounts and doing the 50/50 thing with shared home expenses makes sense to me.

az

I doubt it was yikesed. It was asking people to go Off-site and complete financial questionaires.

I can see why a moderator might have picked that up and why TPTB might have thought it undesirable.

For what it's worth SLG and myself had a house account into which we both paid an equal sum, which took care of rent and bills. Food was bought on alternate trips.

Whatever was/is left in the house account pays for little luxuries, such as the Doctor Who dvd box set and all the booze and food at xmas.

Really? Well, didn't see them myself. Hence the curiosity.

az

There were some links. I just glossed over them and didn't open them. Perhaps it materialised that the poster was doing research for some dubious "finance" company or something. She (he) made it sound like a student project.

That's what I thought. I sent them here from the one of the newbies pages..

Sorry folks!


lil xx