h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Howdy-doodly-doo!

Why do toasters have a setting that burns bread?

I realise that some people like burnt toast, but my theory is that they are forgetful types who must therefore either learn to like burnt toast or just not bother eating it at all.

Seriously, though, most people like toast a golden brown colour. Why is that not the maximum setting on your average toaster? If you're the kind of person who likes it black you can just press the lever again when the toast pops up.

You have to rember that there are other things that can be put in toasters. Pop tarts, crumpets and, in the case of my little brother, small plastic toys.

The toasters have to be able to cope with these as well.

Also, there are people in the universe that refuse to eat pre-sliced bread and prefere to cut their own. This may mean that the slice ends up 3 inches thick.

Not sure about that answer. As I remember from my childhood (early sixties - takes out zimmer frame and wallows in nostalgia), toasters used to burn bread then, too. There were no pop tarts in those days, and crumpets take roughly the same amount of time to toast. With regard to the bit about thick bread, it must take the same amount of time to toast the outside of a piece of thick bread as for a thin piece.

Given you can now get 'automatic' microwaves that use a steam sensor to work out when to stop cooking, wouldn't it be possible to make a similar automatic toaster with built-in smoke detector?

They could even hype it up as a 'safety toaster'. Seeing what's been happening with the recent tidal wave of UK products incorporating antibacterial agents, the vast majority of which are of marginal, neutral, or negative hygeine value, I'd suggest that almost any old crap could currently be sold via a commercial involving a smiling baby, a worried looking mother, a doom laden soundtrack, and with an unspoken subtext of
'Buy our product, or the kid gets it'

Hey it all sounds good to me!

Also, I agree with Rob about the thick bread. It seemed so logial at the time!!

Mind you, doesn't everything!

I think the "burn"-setting is for people like me, who store all the bread in the freezer and place an icy slice in the toaster. It takes a little longer to toast, but it always tastes fresly baked. Yum.

I have a feeling that the 'burn' setting is for people who argue that charcol is good for you. Full of carbon goodness of incomplete combution. Mmmm, tasty.

I think the 'burn' setting is for people who think charcol is nutritious. You know, all of those tasty carbon atoms that are a product of incomplete combustion. Yum.

Yeah, well, there are a bunch of of who need our daily supply of carcinogens. And quitting smoking is not helping. Live on the edge!

Crumpets do take longer than bread. At least, they do in our toaster which has settings 1 (pale and not very interesting) to 6 (burnt to a cinder). Ordinary bread is done at about 2.5 to get it the colour I like, higher for Richard who likes his toast dark. Crumpets have to be done at 3 - 4. Frozen bread is done at about 3. As you can see, settings 5 and 6 are unused, and therefore a complete waste.

My first two slices of bread always take longer to toast than the others (Its a 2 slot toaster).Something I have learnt to live with.

The toaster that automatically knows now brown your bread is has already been invented it was on tv last year some time, but i dont think its gone into production yet.

What really bugs me about those timers is after you've dropped your toaster a few times they stop working so 6 leaves the bread frozen and 1 burns it to a cinder.

this subject has been tackled by a comedian, i forget which one
he basically said the reason why toasters have a burn setting is that the engineer who designed it was bitter! think about it (he said), te guy has been in college for 3 years doing an engineer and design course, then gone to university for 4 years to study further techniques in technology in the grand hope/dream of working for ferrari one day. when they finally leave their long education, degrees in tow, they find themselves £25,000 in debt. this doesn't matter, their new high powered job will pay that off!
but no, they end up at morphy richards designing toasters, so decide the best act of revenge is to over do the setting!

My toaster is either broken or vindictive. It has the standard 6 settings (1-6) but anything over 1.5 produces a charred black unedible lump where as setting 1 barely warms the bread.

I saw the automatic toaster on TV a year or two ago, and remember thinking "Well, that was a pretty obvious invention".
I'd forgotten I'd suggested the idea myself 4 years ago.