h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

(I've always been a fan of "do you know what the time is?" - but I have always been lame like that. Any excuse to talk to a person - which is also one of the reasons I don't wear a watch )

"Hey, that top looks really good on you. Of course, it'd look better crumpled up on my bedroom floor...."

*bows to the master of bad lines*

*Graciously accepts accolades of an adoring public*

What can I say? It's a gift!

Nostalgia made me check this conversation.It's all that I remember so I'm bookmarking.

Incog.

Never was much of a user of chatup lines... didn't generally spot someone and think "her, RIGHT NOW". Usually people had to grow on me, by which time any line would have been academic.

Two exceptions:

1. Girl in a bar, who I did just spot and think "wow". Went up and said something like "Please just tell me your name, so I don't have to call you the most beautiful girl in the place." Her name was Joanne. It didn't last.

2. Girl in a club. We'd eyed each other up for about an hour, it was obvious to both of us what was going to happen if there was any sense to the universe, and drink just got the better of me. I just walked over, took her hand, flicked my head at the door and said "Come on then." She came. [fill in punchline here]



HB's first ever words to me, on the travelator at Tamworth Snowdome, were "Have you fallen down much tonight?", which as chat up lines go has the advantage, I think, of originality and directness.

It also obviously worked a treat, because we're still together over seven years later...

H.

That's so sweet !!

People who have tried lines on me have only ever been laughed at. Not a mean laugh, just some of the lines people come up with...

Boy: Hey, what winks and shags like a tiger?
Girl: I don't know
(Boy winks)

You have to laugh, don't you? An ex of mine actually told me that one, and I almost fell down I was laughing so much...but then I've always appreciated people that can make me laugh...

A friend of mine once met two Irish guys at a festival. In true conforming to stereotype fashion, both were drunk.

Irish Guy A, to a girl: "Hey, dod you know that they now call Jif 'Cif' because they can't pronounce Jif in Spain?"
Irish Guy B, with head in hands: "God, not that chat-up line *again*..."

*Shag me if I'm wrong, but I think you wanna kiss me!

There are great answers too...

I was sat with a friend and his girl friend in a bar.

Guy comes up leans on table gives girl what can only be called a sneer and says something like.

"What you doing with this weirdo, you should come home with me honey, my cock's tipped with steel, and when I cum its like fire."

She looks him straight in the eye and says

"I bet that breaks the ice at parties."

A friend of mine had a guy come over to here with a handful of ice, slam it on the table, and said, now the ice has broken, she just sat there laughing, that has got to be one of the best ones going!!! As the secret of a good chat up line is for someone to make you laugh!!!!