h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Just a few quick questions with no right answer, don't think too long about them, write the first thing that comes to mind

1. What's the difference between a corkscrew and a grasshopper?

2. When did the war of the grapes take place?

3. Which place did the war of the grapes take?

4. What did the door say when the insane man looked at it?

5. What was Archimedes' favourite colour?

6. When did "The Invisible Man" first appear?

7. What is the meaning of "this"?

8. If a woodchuck could chuck wood, how much wood would the woodchuck chuck?

9. If the wood could chuck wood at the woodchuck, how much wood would the wood chuck back?

10. (classic) Why did the chicken cross the road?

1. a grasshopper is useless when you want to drink some wine

2. what war?

3. parse error

4. Comb your hair!

5. Pink

6. He didn't

7. a pointer to the instance of the class which the current method was invoked on

8. only as much as he could chuck before it was time to stop for lunch

9. enough to squash the woodchuck and bury the corpse for all eternity

10. because if he'd stayed on the side he started on, he would have been squashed by the pavement resurfacers

1. Curly vs bouncy

2. Pass

3. Er... the vineyard?

4. Hi, how're you?

5. Wet

6. Just then

7. That

8. Ah, but even if a woodchuck could chuck wood, would a woodchuck want to chuck wood?

9. And if wood could chuck wood, which wood would be doing the chucking and which wood would be being chucked?

10. To... (wait for it)... get to the other side.

1) One is Metal the other is Natural

2) 1800s

3) France

4) Hey You!

5) Yellow

6) Never!

7) Somthing subjective

8) Unknown

9) None due to indefinate result

10) Because he was a chicken

I have no idea were these anwsers came from...

-- DoctorMO --

1. What's the difference between a corkscrew and a grasshopper?
> corkscrew don't jump

2. When did the war of the grapes take place?
> before they were squashed

3. Which place did the war of the grapes take?
> huge vat

4. What did the door say when the insane man looked at it?
> nothing (just stared somewhere else)

5. What was Archimedes' favourite colour?
>blue

6. When did "The Invisible Man" first appear?
> When the Invisible Mummy gave birth

7. What is the meaning of "this"?
>(points to this)

8. If a woodchuck could chuck wood, how much wood would the woodchuck chuck?
> depends if on piece-rate

9. If the wood could chuck wood at the woodchuck, how much wood would the wood chuck back?
> depends on mood

10. (classic) Why did the chicken cross the road?
> you trying the Big Brother act on some poor unsuspecting chicken ?
It's none of your business why.

1. What's the difference between a corkscrew and a grasshopper?
One hops naturally, the other only hops after the first bottle.

2. When did the war of the grapes take place?
About 15 minutes ago

3. Which place did the war of the grapes take?
The Lab benches nearest the washup room (don't ask)

4. What did the door say when the insane man looked at it?
Hello sex!

5. What was Archimedes' favourite colour?
Purple

6. When did "The Invisible Man" first appear?
When he put his bandages on..

7. What is the meaning of "this"?
Whatever you are pointing to --->

8. If a woodchuck could chuck wood, how much wood would the woodchuck chuck?
Not a lot..he's only iccle..

9. If the wood could chuck wood at the woodchuck, how much wood would the wood chuck back?
Just enough to kill and bury the body

10. (classic) Why did the chicken cross the road?
'Twas either that or be run over by the skateboard crowd! Unfortunately he got hit by the lorry...

1. What's the difference between a corkscrew and a grasshopper?
One is used to open red wine bottles, the other is a real ale made by a brewery that doesn't exist anymore.

2. When did the war of the grapes take place?
1865.

3. Which place did the war of the grapes take?
Italy.

4. What did the door say when the insane man looked at it?
carbunkle.

5. What was Archimedes' favourite colour?
Bach.

6. When did "The Invisible Man" first appear?
0.

7. What is the meaning of "this"?
Not 'that'.


8. If a woodchuck could chuck wood, how much wood would the woodchuck chuck?
some.

9. If the wood could chuck wood at the woodchuck, how much wood would the wood chuck back?
some.

10. (classic) Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't. The chicken doesn't exist. The road wasn't there.