h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"the car leading this race is totally unique, except for the one behind it which is absolutely identical" - Murray Walker (gone but not forgetten).

I think that's an oxymoron, just a bit longer than usual.

Gif

garage music

pop singer Bjork

jargon-free small-print

sun protection factor lotion

Shampoo for greasy hair

Body-building shampoo

Plastic Surgery

Quiet children

Ordinary cats

the actress Elizabeth Hurley

A cheap solictor/lawyer

An honest estate agent!

Waterproof clothing

Long-leg jeans

Non-stick pans

Stainless Steel

Wedgwood's famous Blue Jasper pottery {also available in black, white, green and pink}

one size fits all

Bus schedule timetable

Gay

Happily single

ice-cream

A loud silence......

Armed peacekeepers

Resident alien (like me!)

Clearly misunderstand

World Wide Web (antarctica anyone?)

See http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/alabaster/F41297?thread=178631&latest=1 for some more. I probably could have done that reference a little neater if I knew how..

Runner, if you just use the bit after the alabaster part, you'll get a better link. ie, you can just type F41297?thread=178631&latest=1 and it will change for you!

It's too bad this isn't in Dutch, because there are some very funny ones in Dutch.

for example, a stapler litterally translated from dutch (nietmachine) would read: notmachine

Found missing

Genuine imitation

Airline Food (bleeeeurgh!!)

Good grief

Same difference

Almost exactly


Karen

Politically correct

Essential selection

Smart bomb (or has that one been done?)

Booby Trap (Isn't that a bra?)

Tea Towel (What's it got to do with tea?)

Well, I hate to be a wet flannel, but a booby trap was originally a covered pit dug to catch that well-known bird, the booby.

I quite like the tea towel one, though. I mean: how many times have you used one to wipe tea off something?

B

'Bright and early' and 'Good morning' are oxymorons as far as I am concerned.

Gif