h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

To keep Aspen and Switzerland's economy from crashing.

Or there's BOOKKEEPER, if you want to do it without cheating.

Switzerland would be fine even without the tourist trade thanks to their ability to keep the money of the world's criminals and scum safe from harm.
Does anyone know where I might get some xenon? Don't say "a light bulb of some sort" as I've considered that. It'd be good to have some handy by the 'phone for scaring the hell out of double glazing salespeople.

The only reason hot air balloons rise is because of the density thing. Less density rises. Heat doesn't rise by itself unless it causes decreased density of the body or object in question relative to the surrounding medium. Therefore the next time you hear someone talking about radiators, immersion heaters and "heat rising" you can tell them that their arguments are flawed and they themselves poorly informed before explaining all. Try to do this either in Notes & Queries or the questions page of New Scientist to earn some money. Try holding your breath for a really long time when outside on a cold day - this should increase the relative concentration of carbon dioxide in the exhalation, thus making it denser than the surrounding air (seeing as carbon dioxide and nitrogen should be desner than oxygen and nitrogen) and hopefully making it fall rather than rise when it leaves your lungs. It probably won't - chances are, after a good minute being warmed up to body temperature by the nasal passages and lungs the heat of the exhaled gases will be so great that even their increased density at the same temperature and pressure as their surroundings will be counteracted by their great heat, also relative to their surroundings, which will make them considerably less dense overall and thus bring about their rise. Damn. There must be some way of seeing heat fall. Try breathing in Xenon on a cold day. maybe the density difference will be so great as to be insurmountable, even by vascular tissue and alveoli.

Hmmm... heat rising... Makes one wonder just -where- the term 'heat sink' came from, doesn't it?

I had thought a heat sink was what you got if your kitchen was wired up wrongly...

LOL!

I thought that would be a shocking experience.  

You don't need gas. You could use one of the following:
1, Ask them what they are wearing in a sexy voice.
2, Drop things loudly and shout as if you are in the middle of an argument.
3, Say "We don't have glass in the wondows here... only bars."

or you could tell them that you are a Jehova's Witness (and it works the other way too, when they come knocking, try to sell them double glazing!)

I prefer the quick click method, myself.

For those who've just woken up and haven't had their yet, that's hanging up for the telemarketers or the cocking of a high-powered rifle for the door-to-door types.