h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Where do all the dead birds go?
Okay- everywhere you look there are birds flying around. it doesn't matter if you are in the smog stiffled city or the middle of nowhere in the country- have a look up in the sky and you will see birds. Not just a single bird, but several, loads in fact. Now- all of these presumably millions of birds must die at some point, after all no one lives forever. Some of them I guess must be eaten by Eagles or Falcons, or foxes or even bird eating spiders (?), but many of them must just croak of natural causes. So where do all the dead bodies go? Occasionally you will come across a dead bird lying in the road, and I presume street sweepers must pick up a few each day. But given the sheer number of birds winging about, there must be loads dying every day- so where are the dead bodies. Do birds decay really quickly? Are the just as many frisky flies desperate to lay larvae in them? Or is there a secret squad of dead bird removers scouring the country for dead parrots? Can you imagine if humans were just left lying around where they dropped- there'd be rotting corpses everywhere...

Birds have a floatation bladder to help them fly, just like fish have a floatation bladder to help them swim. When a fish dies, it floats to the surface of the water. When a bird dies, unless its floatation bladder has been punctured, it floats to the top of the atmosphere. Between the stratosphere and the ionosphere is a layer called the deadbirdosphere. This is why jet engines are tested to withstand birdstrikes. Live birds just get out of the way, it's the dead ones that are the problem. Hope this helps.

ROFL!

Hmm.. sounds ever so slightly suspect. Come on this has been bugging me for some time- there must be some Ornithologist, Biologist or Necrologist(?) out there who can answer this? Or is this one of the great unexplained mysteries of the Universe?

My theory is that the rings of Saturn consist of dead birds, lost luggage, missing car keys and all the biros I have ever lost.

No, Biro's have there own planet. The guide mentions it - I mean Douglas Adams' guide not this one - and therefore assuming biro's can do it birds could. But you could never go there, it'd be like the Hitchcock film with so many birds they eat any thing that passes them by. In fact the horse head nebula could be where all the black birds, ravens, jackdaws etc go 'cause they're to nasty even for the man eating birds go. And then theres the penguins that come in the night and steal your brain and bats a partial to a nice bit of nasal hair........

Where have all the dead birds gone? long time passing. Wherae have all the dead birds gone? Long time ago.

I think they all turn into soldiers, either that or get eaten by rats, cats, birds or KFC franchises

Poppy: And here I thought -I- was the only one infected with that song.

Researcher 55172: You forgot unmated (demated? ) socks!

Actually it's not KFC, btw, it's the Famous Recipie bi^H^Hchicken restaurants.

Oh bugger! I hate when that happens! You read a book some 17 years ago (was it?) and a bit sticks in your brain, only to pop out later in the guise of one of your own thoughts. Then, someone with a better ability to remember things points out what a plagiarising charlatan you are for all the world to see. I wonder if I've ever really had an original thought or if everything I write and say is just the fragments of long forgotten pieces of other people's work resurfacing at random? Oh dear....

For shame, for shame!

Or... -may-be it was just that DNA popped into the future, read your post, then popped back and incorporated it into his book.

Gee, if that works how come his bank balance hasn't popped into mine by quantum effects? Even if it stayed for a short while, at least I'd make the interest!

I guess I'll have to go through life a plagiarising charlatan.

The time machine was equipped with a Swedish account number?

Same place as Half-used Biro's and Emergeny Startup Disks for your PC which has just crashed with a fatal error

Hmm... Now if we could just get all those bisks¹ to start a layer of their own...







¹Don't know what a bisk is? Be sure to ask in a.a-s. (alt.aol-sucks) on Usenet.

Remember the few you saw on the road?

Okay, now think of the surface area of the road.

Now think of the surface area of everything that isn't a road, including water.

That is where all of the other dead birds go.

Stop trying to confuse all the issues with facts.

Well if you want facts...around here, the concentration of feathers by coyote dens indicates that most of the dead birds go into coyotes.

A few certainly go into our barn kitties, though.

Oh, you didn't want facts? Never mind. Carry on.

I think he meant those that die with-out- being in the vicinity of a proper disposal.

Hey, I live in the country. Between cats, hawks, and coyotes, there *isn't* any place here that's not in the vicinity of proper disposal.

How you lot in the city manage to avoid being buried in dead birds I have no idea, but out here the good ol' circle of life is working just fine.

"Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research."

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