h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What are the secrets of happiness? Are the secrets for happiness universal or do they depend on gender, race, heritage, or even physical location? I would like to hear what your secrets are.

Here in one of mine to get started.

I believe that one of the secrets to happiness is looking at everything you do and analyzing it to determine if it is a good thing (something that truly brings happiness) or a bad thing (something that is destructive and causes unhappiness). And then cultivate the good things and get rid of the bad things.

Your thoughts.

Mostly Harmless

Smiling.
Cos it releases endorphins (or something) in your brain that make you feel good, and so make you want to smile more. It also does something to other peoples brains, so that they want to smile too, and that gives them endorphins too. Simple really.

I'm not a Buddhist but I think they subscribe to the idea that the best way not to be unhappy is not to want things. That makes sense to me. A lot of people seem to drive themselves mad wanting things they can't have. Or they get the thing they want and then find it's not enough and start wanting something else. So I think it would be best to really think hard about why you want a thing and whether it would be better to just stop wanting it rather than pursue it. Is it really important? Why is it important? That sort of thing.

And what Mina says. I've heard that too

I'm sure that not overly particularly materialistic is definitely one element.
In an old conversation along similar lines, one researcher mentioned the phrase 'Happiness is not having everything you want, it's wanting everything you have', and that seemed a pretty good answer to me.

Oh yeah, a good one. But a burning desire to have something you don't have and can't get is definitely not a key to happiness. Shame, as it seems to affect a lot of people these days.

I don't really agree, Maw. Several very happy things are only a research of something you don't have.

One of my favourites of these sort of comment is:

"If you always do what you always do then you always get what you always get"

ie if you're not happy change what you are doing and if it doesn't work try something else.

That one is good enough that, slightly changed, it's one of the mottos of the Weight Watchers program: "If you always do what you always did, then you'll always get what you always got".

I have a little mantra of sorts that I like to remind myself of from time to time. I don't remember from where I got it but it seems to help when I get so uptight my neuroses start having neuroses!

"Live like there's no tomorrow, Love like you've never been hurt, Dance like no one is watching."

SC

Mmm yeah that's a nice one. I think I've heard that somewhere else too - several other places in fact. Can't remember where though. Still, it means it must be good, right?

As paradoxical as it may seem, perhaps to be truly happy one must cease pursuing happiness.

Not wanting things is certainly a part of that, but many of us also seem to desire some indefinable state of existence in which we attain happiness, whether that happiness comes from possessions or from following some belief system or 'master'.

As well, we often confuse gratification with true happiness, and use words like contentment and satisfaction, which is really complacency.

I think true happiness is not any of those things, and cannot be attained as a result of anything which can be possessed, whether that is something tangible, such as a house or a car or even another person, or is intangible, such as an idea or a belief system.

Or maybe true happiness is just a nice, cold ?

I think you're right... apart from the . Too much makes you vomit, which says bad things for its role as a happy thing.

Which leads to the next point about happiness: More is not always better. All things in moderation. Enough is as good as a feast. Etc.

I think it was Plato that talked about that. How happiness is to not excess anything.

The Buddhists are only partially right. Would the slaves in America have been more happy if they decided to not pursue freedom?

Here´s what I believe is an important thing: Happiness is a journey, not a destination. Which basically means that a lot of people waste their life trying to attain a point of 100% happiness, instead of enjoying the 90% happiness they have.

So you subscribe to the notion that it's better to travel than to arrive

Couldn't disagree with you about the slavery point. I was thinking more of pursuing objects of desire rather than just a desire to live a normal life. If your life is distorted by unreasonable condition imposed by others, it seems natural to do everything you possibly can to remedy the situation.

I keep thinking about the people who win the lottery and think that they will be happy forever, but they're just the same miserable sods they were the day before. "If only..." is the wrong approach to happiness!

I think you have to be able to be happy with yourself (allright, you lot, minds out of the gutter! ) and not rely on the presence of others. If you want to see a movie, do you go by yourself or wait until you have someone to go with? You might miss the greatest movie of all time. So it is with opportunities. Sometimes you have to take a chance for happiness, and stop waiting for someone else's predefined description of it. You could just be happy on your own terms, you know.

the secret of happiness is not to procrastinate. Ever.

(suffering the effects of serious un-happiness at the all-nighter essay I have to pull tonight)

differant things make differant people happy. there is no set thing that everyone enjoys but once you find somthing you love stick with it!!

Happiness is a side effect, not a result.

When I asked my ex what he wanted he said "I just want to be happy".

Well, unfortunately you cannot plan for it, it happens when you are doing other stuff.

Things that help you to be happy?

Noticing stuff, being in the moment - what the Buddhists call "Awareness". Notice the colour of the sky (grey today), the sound of the keyboard, the taste in your mouth (chocolate peppermint, just now). The more you practice awareness the easier it is, though the Buddhists say you can spend several lifetimes to perfect this. Try it, it works.

Friends - honest friendship is one of the most important things in my life, if not the most important thing.

Working out what you want to be different in your life, and moving (however slowly) towards it.

Accepting yourself as you are, (in my case cellulite and all).

Laughing. Its the endorphins again.

Accepting that you are not responsible for the happiness of others, or guilty if they are unhappy.

Can awareness actually be practised?

I think I know what you mean, however. It is just so difficult to talk about these things and make sense.

We all seem to agree that happiness is not to be found in gratification, even though most of the world pursues it that way.

Them Buddhists would probably say something like: things are illusion. the pursuer is illusion. there are no things of which to be aware. there is no one to practise awareness. The head monk or whatever would then probably belt us with a large stick.