h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Out of the blue the community choir changed their tune when asked to sing the songs from the film the Blues Brothers as it made them feel blue because the day was dull. They only like singing the Blues Brothers when there is a clear blue sky.

teacher:use the word "officiate" in a sentence.

Student: The cat got sick because of officiate.

Ha! Tha's oni codding, haddock fallen for that joke for years

Good. I wouldn't want you floundering for meaning.

Yeah, this is neither the time nor plaice to be floundering

The BBC has instructions on cooking plaice with thyme.

There's a restaurant called "Thyme and Plaice."

I felt like a fish out of water when I went on a fishing boat trip as it was the first time I went fishing. It gave me such a haddock working out how to use the fishing rod. The fish that I managed to caught where fish to fry and to make a fine kettle of fish. It was prepared at my plaice while eel be listening to my friends carping on how much fish that they caught.

I've heard that fishing is habit-forming. Try it a few times, and you may become hooked.

I was praying to Cod for his heavenly Angelfish to watch over me. I prayed that my Longfin for some nice company will be answered and that I will be given that right type of support to eelpout at home.

A: - Orion's Belt is a big waist of space

B: - Terrible joke, only three stars

One of the students at Hogwarts was good at identifying the major constellations. He was known as Aries-spotter.

Early astronauts had it tough: they worked in Apollo-ing conditions.

I saw the Grim when I visiting the Black family who lived at Number 12 Grimmauld Place in London. I arrived there in the dark of the night and it was pitched black as all the street lights had been switched off.

Henry Ford said you can have any hole you want, as long as it's black

The Black family were always financially in the Black. They regarded Sirius as the Black sheep of the family for being sorted in Gryffindor. Sirius would behave not so Sirius-ly especially during the dog days of summer when following the rising of the star system Sirius. Sirius amimagus was in the shape of a large black dog.

You can't have a black dog unless there's bourbon, dry vermouth and blackberry brandy on hand.

The cannibals were delighted when the stranger introduced himself as a white russian

Robin Hood and friar Tuck were on a safari when a tribe of cannibals seized them. They threw Robin into the stew pot, but not Tuck? Why? Because he was a friar.

The Green Arrow TV series aka The Hood followed the arrow time through his flashbacks and flashforwards that went as swift as an arrow. Oliver Queen as The Green Arrow would listen to the radio series "The Archers" while drinking a which had an olive-r added to it.

The cannibal came home too late for dinner. His wife gave him the cold shoulder