h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Where does Santa get money to replace the runners on his sleigh? He dips into a slush fund.

reindeer, yes! but I've still to deliver the children's prezzies

Paul

During the Oceanic financial crisis, the whales wanted baleen out. Others cried to let natural fish-in-the-seas take their course. Many turned to orcanized religion, searching for a higher porpoise.

Time is money. Overtime is more money.

I believe I will be able to run my car on politicians promises but I'm having trouble with the fool injection system.

Beecome more bee-friendly by making your garden more beecoming to bees with beeautiful violet coloured flowers.

Make your garden a hive of industry with bee hives where you can harvest honeycomb to make pots of honey that will give you pots of money. You could even wax lyrical by advertising the benefits of using bees wax for candles and for bees wax furniture polish.

he played music with 4 mice between his teeth, it was a mouseorgan

Great Pun Prof

On a very cold day as it hailed heavily the diners greeted their salad with hail to the Caesar salad and when they left they hailed for a taxi.

From the weather forecaster's songbook:

Beach Boys - Isobarbara Ann
Judy Collins - Send in the Clouds
Gene Pitney - Plenty More Showers from Tulsa

The rain in Spin stays mainly where it can be a pain.

I played poker using my pets as the stake, I said gopher broke

I tried to play poker online, but no one would accept my mouse as collateral.

maybe the chips (Californian Highway patrol Harley's) were too heavy for the table ?

I think that they Harley weighed enough to do that.

then that's a Triumph for the chip makers

Something is fishy about the chip makers.

a fryer in the monastery might know ?

"One more time, Eliza, We'll have you speaking good Aussie yet!

'The Rhine, in Spine, is minely in the wine!'"

I shouted there's a behind you and "Alice Springs"