h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Willy Woodpacker worked in a lumber yard, when asked why he was never bored, He scratched his head hard and said "Beats me, I'm stumped!". He was very fond of boring holes into pieces of wood whilst he was boring a couple of wild boars with his boring tales as he worked in the yard.

It were a real pea souper of a morning when I went out in my pea green two piece to go for fishing for cockles. I went along with a fishing friend but had a row about sharing our fish roe sandwiches. We also did some ordinary fishing where we went out in a rowing boat but ended up having a blazing row about whether or not there are cockles inside our hearts. We made up with a flask of homemade pea and ham soup which really warmed the cockles our hearts.

The economy is so bad that the bakery is usually empty, except when there's a bun dance (abundance).

Yes, if things improved there would certainly be more dough available.

then we could all start making some real bread

It's difficult making a real crust these days

Cat woman went to Catford by her Ford car as that was all she could af-ford. Cat woman was going to her school renuinion at the Catford High for girls. When Cat woman was a pupil at Catford High, she was the classroom school prefect. There were also some Polish Polecats at the reunion who polished the rest of the competition with their pole dancing. When Cat woman was a young girl, her favourite television programme was Cat Weazle and her favourite character in the radio production of Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy was Ford Prefect.

Yes we should make some bread and stop loafing about.

I knead to make some dough but my bread making method has gone a-rye. But the recipe is in-grain-ed in my head. I will try and carb my enthusiasm. When I am bored sometimes I even watched Everyone loves Rye-mond on tv but the Hovis bread adverts are the best. The actor Bun Affleck is very funny. Does anyone know how to get to Sesame Seed? feel the knead to help, call me a fruit cake. It's not like it's costing me any dough, but don't scone me if I can't rise to the occasion, or I write a few re-pittas.

You sound like a slice off the old loaf.

Cats get catatonic when they eat too much catnip . As a result of the cats getting catatonic they start a cataphony of catawauling.

Working in the bakery has left me with a loathe of bread. I thought I only had enough flour to bake one loaf, but after I added yeast I had eleven breads.

When I put a piece of beef between two pieces of bread I get a bull-only sandwich.

I would mail a loaf of bread at the toast office where I would toast the toast office with a glass of wine and a toaster.

As a baker I would always put too much flour in my bread because I am a gluten for punishment. I trade my bread recipes on a knead to know basis. I have a great kneed to make bread.

I also became a golf professional to earn my bread and putter. A wide loaf had bread-th.

I have invented a long knife that cuts four.

I am on a diet and I go to the diet clinic where it became so successful it would take my breadth away.

My father who worked as a baker was a real breadwinner.

A cats goal in life is to cat-apault themselves in success at mousing as many mice as they can get.

It does no good to give a cat a computer, because the mouse would get eaten immediately.

Two foxes chasing four rabbits decided to split hares but they were outfoxed by the quick action of the rabbits who rabbitting to each other which caused the foxes to get distracted in the chase.

Male foxes are always on the look out for foxy ladies.

Foxes favourite dance is the foxtrot.

A zoo had too many panda bears, so they built a pandemonium.

When animals take over the U.S., their constitution is going to guarantee the right to arm bears.

These three guys are out fishing who were feeling a bit grizzly but were bearing up. When they got back to their truck they see it's surrounded by three bears who were bearing their teeth at them.

"OK guys, I figure the only way to get to the truck is to really get them mad. Then they'll leave and we can go home. So, Ed, you take the one on the left, the little cub with the broken leg who, and I'll take the one in the middle, the little cub with one eye and a hurt paw, and Joe, you take the one on the right, the huge silvertip mama grizzly bear with blood-encrusted claws, the big teeth, and froth around the mouth who was beeing cheeky by showing bear faced cheek".

"Hey, man wait a sec, I'm supposed to get this monster mad, and you guys get the cubs ? That's not fair!"

"Now, now, Joe. We all have our bears to cross and of course you must remember to grin and bear it."

And the Kodiac bear who started animal photograpy says,

"It's time for a paws."

The a subject of Teddy bear picnics is so deer to me, I can't bear to bee in a place where I can watch deer and bears at play. They say that real honeycomb is the bees knees of health foods.