h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

After burning a batch of cookies a baker felt very crummy. Later on the backer went onto his computers where he tried to print his cookies and then eat them as biscuits. That is what I calll really taking this biscuit.

Some examples of movie genres:

"The Birds" is a Chick Flick.

The "Harry Potter" movies are Auror Movies.

"The Piano" is an example of Silence Fiction.

Penny wento to Penny Lane to do some shopping where she spent a few pennies .

The grass in my yard has lasted a very long time. In fact, it has had marvelous lawngevity.

The first discoovered cats were found in Paw-tugal, Purr-sia and in Cat-alonia in Spain.

A lupine dancer is a steppin' wolf was named Tim and he decided to shave off all his fur in the middle of winter. What did the other wolves call him after that? Tim-Burr-Wolf .

Wolves like to wolf down the food after watching a Wolves match in Wolverhampton.

A lot of fine clothing is spun from the wool that comes from woolverines.

There is a new film called X-men Origins: Woolverine where Woolverine learns to knit and it is turned into a mutant sheep who is very sheepish and cannot stop making baad jokes.

His jokes will be welcome at next Sunday's Oscar awards, which he will host.

Q from Star Trek took his lines from the autoQ and to clean his ears he would use q-tips. Q is known on the QT as a cutie. Q shops only at QD's. Q's favourite snack is Q-cumber sandwich. Somtimes he can be quite q-less.

In that very first episode of "Star Trek, the Next generation," Q finally relented and allowed the human race to survive. In response, the humans said "Thank Q."

Then there was the judge who insisted on holding her trials at the waterfront, so the defendant could be tried by his piers.

The fleas were fleeing from the sheep's fleece as the rabbit was rabbiting on about the short-order crook that poached his eggs, shaved his chocolate , welched on his rabbits , and even his pastry was stollen. The rabbit was feeling depressed as he was going through a bad patch although as a hole rabbits generally lead a very hoppy life.

Wolf's favourite composer is Wolf-gang Amadeus Mozart and they have a gang called the Wolf-gang Wolf music appreciation society.

Wolves like to Wolf whistle when they are wolfing around in Wolv-erhampton.

Dogs from the Isle of Dogs when they go sailing, invariably run aground on Dogger bank.

Cats must secretly be dogs, because they have ca-nine lives.

When I was staying in Thread-needle street, I was on my pc posting a thread whilst threading my beedle and talking to my flatmate when I lost the thread of the conversation that I was having with her.

it should have read as:
When I was staying in Thread-needle street, I sitting by my pc posting a thread whilst thread-ing my needle when my flatmate came in and I stated to talk to her. As I was busy on my pc and doing needle-work I lost the thread of the conversation that I was having with her.

It was through dogged determination that that the Bea the beagle who wrote at the Beagle, was managed to be able to get to work at the Isle of Dogs when it was snowing buzzards. The otters at Otterburn were feeling very hot under the collar when they got a visit from Bea at the Beagle. There was a group of eager beaver reporters who were trying to interview the otters at Otterburn.

There was a whole lot of trouble when the carpenters came to work and found that their woodwork was full of holes. One of them pipped and I wonder who wood do a thing like that.

A lot of people have predicted when the world was going to end. My own prediction is Mayday.