h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh happy happy joy joy! I love carnival rides. Think I'll go on the Tilt-A-Whirl a couple dozen times!


AHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEE!!!!

*Gwennie climbs on Tilt-A-While ......*

Ooerr! I wish I hadn't had that chilli for dinner now... Stop the ride!

*Turns green and clamps hand over mouth.... Starts to wave furiously to spectators to stand back.....*

Look out below!

A whole carnival and we have it all for our selves!!!

*Quickly steps out of way to avoid the splat of Gwennies Chunder*

*Tosses bottle of Pepto Bismol to Gwennie who downs the stomach soothing pink fluid in one gulp*

Do either of you know how to operate the ferris wheel? There don't seem to be any Carnies here to run the machines.

Thanks for the pink stuff! *Regards pebble-dashed pier thoughtfully* Do you know, I don't remember my chillie being that sort of colour...

Cor! A ferris wheel! Nope - no idea how to operate it. There must be a big button thingee here somewhere.... The trouble is, who's going to push it for us once we're on the wheel? It is sort of deserted here. I wonder why? Where is everyone?

*Watches litter blowing past in the breeze....*

Don't forget we are on Zitlurub VI. Things work differently here than they do at home. The controls for the rides are built into the rides themselves. No problemo.

*Steps nimbly over Gwennie's ex-chili and climbs into ferris wheel car. There are two buttons: STOP and GO.*

Are you coming or not? There's room for three.

*Baron and Gwennie squeeze on board. Baron's size disproves Mari-rae's confident statement about there being enough room, however and Gwennie is forced to sit on his lap.*

*Gwennie pushes the GO button and the ferris wheel begins to turn.*

Oh, my BB what a large, comfy lap you have......
*Makes herself at home*

Wheee! *Starts to panic when the car aproaches pinnacle* Help! I forgot I'm frightened of heights!!!!

Oh, no! I feel sick again but I'm not sure which end it's going to come out of! Why, oh why didn't I listen to my mum when she was trying to teach me to be lady-like???

Mari-rae - are there any sick bags/nappies on board? Help!

Get sick on me Darlin' and I'll have to treat you like a red-headed step-child!!!.....You don't want that now, do you?

*perk* Did someone mention carnies? *quickly grabs phone and begins to frantically dial numbers* "Yes, this is a conference call... Yes, I know it's been ages since I've spoken to you all, but can we save the reunion-- Yes, Jimbo, I do remember that gawd-awful hangover -- and your basketball game, but -- Yes, Flaggary, I remember your -- yes.. WHOA! Uhm.. this -is- kinda important (not to mention costing me a paw and a tail), so can I just ask you all if you'd care to ..."

*wanders off deep in conversation*

*Gwennie, still looking decidely green manages a wicked leer at BB*

Promises, promises! Where's that sick bag?????

*Mari-rae, still sans apparel from the beach and therefore without bags or nappies of any kind whatsoever, edges as far away from Gwennie as she can get which is about a half an inch.*

Just fix your eyes on one point on the horizon and think happy thoughts, Gwennie.

"... No, Bruno, we've already got the auto's running, but we still need a good crew for some of the older rides.. And we need some stick joints, too.. and trailer joints and stuff..."

Glad I brought my parachute! *Moves Gwennie off lap and leaps from ferris wheel... glides gracefully to ground below.

Hi, Nonnie. Still having trouble finding good help?

*walks off toward "house of horrors*

Ta muchly Mari-rae - the horizon thing helps. Aww! I seem to have lost my comfy cushion....

*Looks down and feels ill again*

I think we'd better stop the ride and follow BB over there to the house of horrors as he may need our help. I was voted Hammer Horror Queen in 1979 by my friends I used to work with at the Rank Organisation, you know....

Nonnie's been on the tellingbone for a long time, what's he up to? Shall we go and see?

*Gladly pushes the STOP button. Their car comes to a perfect halt, and they folow after Baron who has just disappeared into the House of Horrors.*

(apprehensively)I'm not really big on these places. I could wait for you out here.

*Gwennie grabs her arm and they enter the HofH. It is dark. It is smelly. There is a glow coming from down the hallway before them.*

Baron? Baron? (to Gwennie) Is his name Siide, or Slide? I thought it was Slide, but since you tacked those cockroach wings onto him it seems to have changed. Shouldn't he have waited for us? (babbling) Did you hear a noise? I thought I heard something. Not a scream, more of a yell. Didn't you hear it? 8-(

(correction made)
BOOO!!!!

*Gwennie leaps into Mari-rae's arms* Aargh! It's big, black, hairy and has wings and I be afeared o' it!

That was a rotten trick BB......

*Gwennie starts to notice Mari-rae's near state of collapse and climbs out of her arms... Mari-rae looks much relieved.*

Okay BB *wicked grin* what mischief are we up to now? Is there perhaps a ghost train around here? *Looks round hopefully*

*jumping up and down with relief and clapping hands*

Oooo BB, THAT WAS GREAT! Iwassoscaredwhenyoucameoutofthedarklikethat!(really babbling now) IthoughtitwasamonsterandGwenniejumpedonmesoshewasscaredtooanditwas GREAT!!

(nervously)Ghost train?

Mew!

Mew? *Looks round nervously*

Who said that?

Suppose it was one of the ghosts off that ghost train?

*Backing toward the door*

I think I'll go ride the merry-go-round a few times, and maybe grab a cheeseburger.

*Reaches behind for the doorknob and is startled to discover that there is no doorknob on this side of the door. The only way out is to go on through the Haunted Mansion.*

Don't tell me that the only way out is to go on. Its so dark in here. I can barely see anything.