h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Mwah Ha Ha! Lucky for you I never leave home without my hurricane lantern! We need but a match....

Booooooo
*Steps out of upright coffin*

Hi Baron, what luck I have
a matching hurricane lantern

[two bright spots of light appear]

}And I have glowing eyes!{

}By the way, it was Mew who said "Mew."{

*alicat sneaks up behind the group* BOO! No, don't hit me. I brought matches. And blue mushrooms.

}Blue mushrooms?{ [looks] }GAAH! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE POINTING THAT THING! THOSE THINGS SHOOT SOLAR BEAMS!{

}Hmmm ... I sense something familiar up ahead ... and yet *not* familiar.{

[starts forward] }I'll go first. Being the most powerful psychic being in the universe, I have the best chance of frying anything before it draws blood.

Whooops! *alicat disappears through trap door in the floor. Her screams become faint. She is on the way to horrors unknown*

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'll save you Alicat. Monkey boy leaps into action dives throught the trap door clinging to his best vine.

I'm coming for you Ali......hold on tight.
Monkey boy flys through the air and catches Alicat in his arms. Climbs back to the trapdoor and sets Ali safely back onto the pier.

Mb tips a big bottle of love into the trapdoor and shuts it again

Ali are you OK? I'm so glad I caught you in time. That could have been disastrous.
MB plants a kiss on Ali cat and then flies off onto the beach and away.

Thats enough hero stuff for one day.

Love n Hugs.

Bye!

AA LL I C A TTT AReE YOoU OoKAYYYy ?
strange echo.

Alicat is rescued. but maybe we should check out this trap door. I'm off for a look.

Monkeyboy leaps through the trapdoor into the darkness below armed only with a bottle of love and his special stash of love powder.

I'll be back sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, my hero. He saved my life. We have to follow him. We just have to use his vine. I'm going in. His love powder if casting a beautiful blue light. *alicat drops through the trap door and moves quickly towards the light. She catches up to her Monkey Boy and gives him a big hug. With the love lighting the way, they venture bravely forward* It's really quite beautiful in here. There are luminous stalagmites and stalactites and crystal clear pools. It's a wonderland.

*stepping carefully around the open trapdoor.*
Er, uhm, well. Well, have fun. I kinda have my heart set on a cheeseburger. I'm going on through the Haunted House to find the proper exit.

*Proceeds down a narrow twisting hallway that ends in a spiral staircase. The staircase is rickety and goes up to another trapdoor in the ceiling.*

Oh Brownies, I've seen this in a movie. I'll get up there and somebody's face will jump out of that trapdoor at me.

*convulsively grabs a fistful of BB's fur and hangs on.*

*Gwennie also grabs a handful of BB's fur (at least she hopes it is)*

Right then! Haunted house it is! Methinks this is all to familiar... *starts to remember her nightmares*

*They edge carefully up the spiral staircase to the trapdoor. It does not as expected fling itself open with a horrible face leering out at them. Instead, they open the trapdoor to find a room of mirrors.*

[The room also has Mewtwo in it, staring at a concave mirror]

}I say, Mew, do you think I look better in this mirror?{

Umm...you two can let go now...it sort of hurts

*Preens in front of rather flattering reflection of self*

Nah.. I have plenty of contacts, we're just discussing which to pick. You know.. some are better at rides, and what with all the joint ops and owners, ya can only have -so- many attractions at one park, ya know.

*mumbles something into phone*

"Seems we also have a rather nice House of Horrors, which seems to be connected both to a spectacular underground cavern and a has a House of Mirrors sitting on top."

*follows trail of tiny tuffs
of fur to top of spiral stair-
way, peers in trap door only to
see hundreds of eyes looking back.*

MMMM stalagmites & stalactites,
mirrors or horror my rummmbling
tum needs a cheese-burger but
who is who, who is reflection?

*Monkey Boy and alicat have been walking through the underground wonderland for hours. They are headed towards a blinding white light. Suddenly, they step into a wondrous, enormous cavern. It is several hundred feet high. The walls and floor are made of gold, laden with diamonds. The ceiling is made of crystals. Every facet casts a rainbow. It is breathtaking.* I think we're beneath the crystal forest! *Music is coming from every direction.* That sounds like Lethe's song. Monkey Boy, do you think this is Heaven. The love vibes are overwhelming.*alicat takes MB's hand, and they venture forward.*

"Actually I think it's a whole series of caverns. Maybe we'll need someone for each room?"

I think you've got the right idea, Nonnie. We will need a lot of us. *almost undetectible, in the glistening of the gold walls, are hundreds of doors. Some are very large, some tiny.* There's a Nonnie sized door right here. I'll try the cat flap. *Monkey Boy picks a random door, peers in, and enters*