h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've just come back from Amsterdam, literally yesterday, and I have to say that crossing the road there is one of the most unnerving experiences I have ever had.
The colour of the traffic lights there bear no resemblance to the motion of traffic and drivers have no qualms about flooring the accelerator whether pedestrians are directly in front of them or not.
I personally, in my 6 day stay, was almost ploughed into by a cyclist who seemed to be under the impression he was on the last 100 meters of the Tour de France and crushed under the wheels of a tram whose driver was obviously a slave to his schedule and wasn't going to let a little thing like murder get in his way.
On the whole, though, Amsterdam is a great place to visit... but I *really* wouldn't want to live there.

I was part of that deadly traffic for quite a few years, as a bike messenger, and it's not as bad as you describe.
What the real menace is? TOURISTS! Tourists that see the natives cross the zebra's without minding the traffic lights, just do as the romans do, don't look and walk. Just walk. And I think that's what you did.

Now I want to talk about something really horrendous: Tourists on Bikes. You can get tours through Amsterdam on bike, (see http://www.yellowbike.nl )- It's something you'd have to see to believe. Last time these people rode a bike, was when they were ten. And then they are sent into the city of Amsterdam. That is what you call deadly traffic.

But I like tourists though. Just to see them being amazed about all that is possible in Amsterdam make it all ok.

As a technician visiting Amsterdam on a regular basis- say once a week- I do not understand what the hell you're talking about. Sure, traffic is bad in Amsterdam. But it's not speed that concerns me. Hell, if you manage to get hit by a car in central Amsterdam you were moving very slowly indeed. And if one does get "hit", I estimate that one could find a partner, procreate, see the kid through college, and live off one's pension, by the time the car starts rolling again.
IT'S ONE HUGE TRAFFICJAM!
Ok, some stress released, thank you.

I can see what's needed here: some tips from an expert.

I get my daily 'traffic-kicks' in another Dutch city, The Hague, which is as bad (if not worse) as Amsterdam. I bike to and from work (30 min. each) every day, and to make things even more complicated, The Hague is ONE BIG CONSTRUCTION PIT almost 365 days a year. Goody.

My tips:

- Look them in the eyes: Not only can you read the mind of the driver, maybe a nice face can get you a nice date for the evening.
- Be Brutal. (a pair of army boots comes in handy here) Walk/drive over anyone or anything.
- Use the terrain: Even large piles of sand can be walked/biked on.
- Cars are evil.
- Bikes are evil (but not as evil as cars)
- Pedestrians are evil (but not as evil as bikes)

Now go and try again!

Slithers.

Bikes have (almost) absolute rights in the Nederlands.

Ok, this may not be the _letter_ of the law but it is the spirit of what has happened and is happening now.

Basically, if a car driver hits a cyclist, they will almost certainly loose their license (depending on the severity of damage - to the bike not the person!)

In Holland (etc) there is 1.16 bikes per person (approx, but I think this includes the ones in the canals). That is a sizeable political lobby. Anything they say goes. Geddit?