h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If you happen to be on a planet or in a dimension wherein the law of gravity and/or the laws of physics have popped off for a quick beer (or have already done so and are drunk and thus unable to perform their duties as governors of matter), you can use your towel as a makeshift parachute or hang-glider to move yourself from the top of a very tall thing to the bottom of said object with a minimum of effort.

This is a very good point. However, unfortunately we are on Earth so any attempts here on Earth to use a towel as a parachute would most likely not only end in certain death but also cause one's life insurance company to laugh hysterically.

We're trying to limit suggestions for towels for this Guide Entry to those that can be used on this particular spinning rock as opposed to any other, but thank you for your assistance.

Oh. How about a continuation in the self-defense realm: wrap a rock and/or other heavy object in your towel and use it as a blunt object to beat hostile creatures about the head with?

I find a towel indispensible while travelling: Under many circumstances a normal size towel is a bit bulky, and a bar mat can be far more handy. This has the added advantage of being small enough to stuff into a pocket, and is often soaked in beer if you get terribly hungry. (A bar mat or towel can be sucked to get any nutritional value out of it).

Uses while travelling vary, but the most common include drying a wet seat on a station platform or on the top of an open top bus. Also very handy to clean up spillages of tea, coffee or other beverages. This can also save the spilled beverage for use at a later date as outlined above.

Of course a bar mat cannot be used for self defense, warmth or lying on, and so for this reason a larger towel is also carried.

Ah, but you forget that most useful proto-towel, the flannel. It is unknown whether this is a baby towel, a smaller relative, or a evolutionary/devolutionary smaller towel. Whilst much smaller than a real towel, it can be employed for all towel functions, albeit on a smaller scale. My personal theory is that it is a sniper towel, able to be used against much smaller targets than a normal towel, or precise aiming at vunerable spots of larger creatures. On planets whose residents are much larger than those of Earth's, a native flannel would be at least as large as an earth towel and am admirable substitute.

Ah, but you forget that most useful proto-towel, the flannel. It is unknown whether this is a baby towel, a smaller relative, or a evolutionary/devolutionary smaller towel. Whilst much smaller than a real towel, it can be employed for all towel functions, albeit on a smaller scale. My personal theory is that it is a sniper towel, able to be used against much smaller targets than a normal towel, or precise aiming at vunerable spots of larger creatures. On planets whose residents are much larger than those of Earth's, a native flannel would be at least as large as an earth towel and an admirable substitute.