h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This place is dead

And now - Back to the music

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HA HA! FINALLY!...Now that I have a seperate computer I can actually read this page...on my old computer the personal information blocker didn't like something or other...and thus wouldn't let me see the page no matter how many times I hit ignore...

Congraturation! You are winner!

But seriously, it isn't dead. Just dormant, like a deadly supervolcano that will soon erupt and destroy half of a population. Well, not exactly like said volcano. Only sort of like said volcano. Was that a sentence?

i'm confused about the "you're a winner" bit!

Perfect!
*inapropriately timed dirty ol' man laugh*
eh heheheheheheheheheh

*sigh* I really expected more posts to read after taking a four month leave of absence. What has happened?

Don't ask.

But now you're back... post ahoy!

woohoo! people are back!

lets get this party RE-started!

Indeed, let's!

*boogies on down*

for all!

I'll stick with , thank you.

... laced with gin!

*pokes head in* Hello? Anyone here? T'is Raine, just looking around...poking my head in here and there.

Hello! grab yourself a bottle, girl, boy, sheep, what ever takes your fancy n sit yourself down!

so how are you and where'd you come froM!?

*sits down*
Mine is a strange tale...of Native Americans, mermaids, and Shaolin monks. Maybe we can get Jackie Chan to play me in the movie.

Indeed!

*clicks fingers and party music fades into oriental dramatic music*

do tell me, oh and hav some dips! *hands over a bowl of dips*

*sits back and puffs on pipe*
Let's see...the way Dad told it, he was a navigator on The Windbreaker. He met Mum in her village. Although she was promised to one of their warriors, they had a lovely little affair while he was on shore leave. A year later he returned to find he had a daughter - me! Fortunately, she had been wed to the warrior not long after my parents had their fun, so Plays With Snakes never knew. Well, until Dad came back five years later and demanded that I go with him.
The elders wanted to put Mum and me both to death! But Dad took us away and the ship was headed to Lincolnshire.
On the way to England another pirate ship found us and there was a fight! In the end they took over the Windbreaker and the survivors were placed in the brig. But I snuck out! I hid in the shadows for two weeks until they stopped in India. I made my escape there, but Mum and Dad were sold for slave labour for some place called the East India Tea Company.
As for myself, I stowed away with some travelling merchants who were going to China. A few months later I ditched them and found my way to a Shaolin monastery. At first they were hesitant about looking after me, but finally they shaved my head and pretended I had a penis. For ten years I lived with them, then my friend, Akira, was going back to Japan, so I went with him. We lived on his parents' farm until I was eighteen, then I was given a job on a ship headed for Europe. I figured I'd try to find out more about my English family.
Imagine my surprise when I see my father on the docks at Liverpool! He and Mum had escaped a few years after they were sold and Mum went back to America. In time I learned of my family and spent a few years with them. But my heart yearned for adventure - and the open sea!
In the many years I lived in Asia I had learned many styles of martial arts, and in Europe I learned Esperanto. Not long ago I stumbled across the Fang of the Squishy Rubber Marks. Upon meeting Fish's Freak I asked to join as the Ship Ninja. Soon I realized I had more skills to offer, so my title soon changed to Martial Arts Enthusiast and Esperanto Translator!

And now...what is your story, dear friend?

I come from a simple background, a warm smoky cave somewhere in the mountains. Every day I would watch the sun come up and see the hikers walking up the mountain.

It was then that I realised that I could make alot of money!!!

So, I stole one of the hiker's cars and drove of into the big city. Conning the rich and famous, becoming quite a celebrity I toured around the place, controlling most of thie city.

And then I saw my little cave on the tv one day, and yearned for the quietnes i had once enjoyed.

So went back, obviously with a few home comforts and renovated the place (Its amazing how much cold can get in without a door)

So I lived their a couple of years, manipulating the stock market by email..

and then i saw the river stretching out into the distance and yearned for the sea!!! And so I lept onto a log and traveeled down to the piers at the sea front and found this ship! and hear iam!