h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"You can't stop me
*Kick*" [Persephone]

I'm not here to stop you. The most I might do is sell tickets or make a video so others can enjoy the sight of you kicking SuperMoo.

hello?.....Anyone?...I'm still stuck upside down

There does that help? Or were you enjoying being upside down?

it was nice of you to spin the room the right way up for me

Um, I actually didn't do that. I outsourced the project to Fluffy Pink Rabbit, who did it.

wait wait wait

who kicked me

*Kick*

My story is much too sad to be told,
For practically everything leaves me totally cold....

I didn't realise you were a vogon

Vogon poetry


AAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I am officially the H2G2 patron saint of ragtime Vogon poetry. So, I am naturally very flattered that you would think the song lyrics I gave were products of my imagination.

Unfortunately, Cole Porter is probably rolling over in his grave right now, wondering why one of his most famous songs is being attributed to someone else. I have truthfully been compared to Mr. Porter for some songs that I *did* write, but they can never appear at this website because I don't want the BBC to own the copyright to them. In any event, my life is dedicated to doing delightful things that other people can enjoy. I hope I can have my own website someday.

Didn't mean to offend anyone i never heard of...

Maybe you could scrounge up a copy of the DVD of "De-Lovely."

no

that name is too scary

i'd rather watch something with the word kill or death in the name

much more fun

watch some teenagers get butchered

I doubt that many teenagers have done enough evil things to deserve being butchered. Hollywood executives who consistently okay dreadful, dreary movies deserve it far more.

naw

all teenagers need butchering horribly

it's their own fault for not following the horror movie rules of survival.

kipper's horror movie survival tip 1#
Always carry a rocket launcher.
Here endeth the lesson

Horror movie rules of survival?

The only rule I've noticed is that hardly *anybody* survives a horror movie--not the cast, not the audience, not even the critics. The horror movies in which nobody dies are called comedies.

So the Halloween game of D20 modern that I had played was a comedy? That explains the insurance salesman selling insurance to demons.

That sounds awfully comic to me!

Yes, I was expecting more death, I was one of only two who got close, and that was because I opened the final boss battle by throwing 9 lb. of dynamite at him during the surprise round.

The blast was strong enough to kill damn near anyone in the party if they MADE their reflex save. None of them could have survived failing it.

So needless to say, he got mad.