h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Just so I know if anyone's called...

Hello. Someone's called.

Are they actually true?!?

They are VERY FUNNY!! I had tears pouring down my cheeks, creating great big puddles around my feet...ok, maybe not.
But they are funny!!

What about the old 'my coffee holder isn't working' thing? Or is that too obvious?

Some of them are true, some of them are probably interpretations of events etc. Urban Myths generally have some trth to them, though as with all Oral Histories, they are exaggerated by each story teller for their audience.

A New Zealand survey found women leave office work because of problems with fax machines and computer printers than for any other reason. This includes pregnancy.

Brilliant collection Merkin! Am going to put a link to them from my page..

I was going to call Compaq tech support to ask them how to get rid of all this garbage they left on my desktop. But now I'm afraid I'll end up being ridiculed throughout the guide.

As it's all Bill Gates' fault I'm starting a hate mail page for him. It's at www.h2g2.com/U92002

See you there?
C

okey dokes. On my way over. Can't you just the compaq stuff in the bin?

My MIL worked for the helpdesk of a major brewery and leisure chain. The following actually happened to her:

Asked to send in a copy of the floppy disk, the user mailed a photocopy....

Asked to send in the floppy disk, the user stapled it to a covering letter explaining that he needed it back as it was his only copy....

On receiving a new floppy, the user opened the "envelope" and wndered why it wouldn't work. It was a 5 1/4" disk, and he had taken the magnetic disk out of the case....

NO. I managed to get rid of some of it but I'm still left with all sorts of Bill Gates stuff.

I opt to use netscape as my browser, and I see no reason why there should be an icon for internet bloody explorer on my desk top. Or a Rand-McNally trip planner, or a Quicken personal finance manager. I don't have any personal finances and I navigate using Dirk Gentley's Zen method.

I visited compaq's tech support site and read through some of the replies they have posted to customer queries - get this:

Compaq computers are built for specific GEOLOGICAL areas. Like it makes a difference what kind of rock you're standing on!

This is for real! I'll start a "aren't Compaq a bunch of wankers?" site when I've had time to gather a few more. Or how about I make it the "what the techie said" page with a reciprocal link to this one?

A similar story appeared in Private Eye the other week, may well be myth, about the South African Aids leaflet complete with condom.......stapled to the leaflet.

Either there is some truth in these myths or else there are some very deranged people out there making it all up.

Mind you after one month on the internet I suspect the second theory.

CH

The condom story is, apparently, absolutely true. It could be a deliberate hoax, but it's not an UL.

Ta luv. Finally found my all time favourite gem, which is the power cut story, now first item.

Heh... You obviously haven't worked on any helpdesks, hung around in any IRC help channels, or tried to help someone less clueful. It's a jungle out there... complete with lions, tigers and bears... AND the monkeys.

As I heard from a humourist who related a 'true' I've-had-such-a-bad-day story.... "Did all of that really happen?". "Yup. It all happened. Although not all on the same day, and hardly any of it to me."

It seems to me that most of the better techdesk stories are the ones which if they were anything other than techies fantasizing (to vent) they'd lose their jobs.

Ooo Missed this one. Will go have a look.

Absolutely. That's exactly what urban myths are, collections of many events and happenstances collated into a decent story, with a bit of narrative embellishment every time it's told. Eventually the story is a legend, and amazingly the story almost always happened to a friend of a friend. I freely admit I have a couple of these stories which I have long forgotten whether they did or did not actually happen to a friend of a friend, and even better, I have been at parties and heard someone else tell me one of my stories, or is that just an urban myth as well?

According to the accompanying blurb that traditionally comes with most of these, many of them were sacked. From my own and friends tech support experience, I would say that while some (the power cut especially, are beyond the pale) the general level of rudeness is not entirely suprising. All depends who you're providign support to, and whether they know your name!!

Heh... The saddest part is how -much- truth can be found within the myths.