h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

As I look to my personal left I see a jolly chinaman dancing on coins, a young man with hands held aloft with a red bow tie and behind him a Tudor couple dance forever. There is a victorian bottle on top of which sits an owl and then there is a strange trinity formed of a wooden and bearded old man who is really a candle, flanked by Gollum and a mythical beast at the foot of a totem pole. A petrified sheep observes a scuba diver swimming over coral, a green dinosaur hides behind a giant ammonite while a silver robotic dog stands guard over Beethoven who wears a wooly hat.

Can I have some of what you're having?

*looksleft*

The wall.

No, wait. There's a plug socket with an air freshener in it too.

A wall, with a hook on it holding several sets of headphones, a keyring and a variety of elastic bands and a sheaf of waste paper to be used for shopping lists, things to do etc... (not very exciting I'm afraid)

The thing my eyes are drawn when I look to my left is the red "postpak" into which my gifts for my very lovely friend Stephanie are soon going to go.

Er, curtains...

Oh, and an ashtray that needs emptying.

To my right, however, is a very nice glass of chilled white wine. I am currently recommending looking to the right. Left was so, yesterday, don't you think?

A small monkey in a butler's uniform carrying a silver tray of drinks and nibbles.

To my left is an empty seat on the sofa, and a box of paperwork and photo albums on the floor next to it.

Carrying them to the tiny monkey sat on your lap?

Yerrs.

I have wall. Lots of it. But if I'm allowed to glance a little upwards, then I have 5 small pictures hanging. In need of a good clean they are too. Can I stop looking now.

Or carrying them to a secret hidey place?

He's gone now.

Secret hidey place it is

On my left are my blue-striped scarf (hanging), a clipboard of forms, an emergency signal list, a speaker box, a big red button, a slightly smaller green button with a red light above it, my blue hard hat, a couple of cartoons, my schedule, my red and gold Harry Potter scarf (rolled up on desk), the Rams 2006 season football schedule, several sets of keys and a book entitled "The Wit and Anti-Wisdom of Geogre W. Bush".

on my left i see a poster of the "boerentoren" a lot of books and an ironing thing

To my left is a 3 legged cat, the same place she always sits, she is at this very moment cleaning herself. But not her single back leg yet....

To my left, are:

Digital camera.

Half a printout of a baobab tree.

Encarta world dictionary.

And envelope full of Pachypodium (succulent plant) seeds.

A 'One Must Fall' (computer action game) Strategy Guide.

A 'One Must Fall' CD.

A book named 'Remarkable Trees of South Africa'.

The 1983 edition of the Guinness Book of Records.

A book named 'Die Natuurlewe van Suid Afrika' (="The Wildlife of South Africa")

A book named 'Die Skatkis' = "The Treasure Chest" which is children's stories.

Numerous pens and pencils.

The wall.

On the wall, three pieces of paper listing things that must be done, and another with a list of Haworthias and Stapeliads (succulent plants) I had received a while ago from Gariep Plants.

*Looks left*
Books. I'm in a library.

Big window, main road, messy desk and Timmy.

who's timmy?

He's a character off South Park. He went on a trip a few months ago and he's just reappeared. I've never really watched it, but his character sort of crassly fits the bill.

Of course. I should of realised. I'm half asleep today *nods off and bangs head on the keyboard*vjrfghvkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkj