h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Just thought I'd ask.

Petrsonally, I can't see one....

There is no point in cats . . . except to chase smaller animals. As a lover of all things rodent, this tends to cause me great grief . . . . pesky things!!!

Come now, there are many fine points involving cats. Like ummm, well, admiring how they jump large distances ... landing on your lap and digging their claws in. Or perhaps, ummm, being amazed at how they lay down and take up an entire stair. And don't forget how they can bring joy to you by scratching up your arms after getting their heads stuck in a plastic bag.

A cat is a small furry animal that looks up at you with its big eyes, purrs, and then goes behind the couch and does something horrible that it will take you four hours to track down by smell, and which you will then have to clean up.

So, basically, a cat's point is to both confuse and annoy us??

And bring us dead mice at breakfast.

Don't forget the cats other important work, like instantly destroying toys you buy for them that you see in the market check out. And also to go to sleep when you try to play with them and become incredibly active at 3 am.

Cats exist to find people who are allergic to them, wait till that poor person falls asleep, then sit on them till their eyes swell up and there respitory organs inflame in burning agony.(not that I'm bitter)

Oh! So you found my missing moggy send him back right away. I'm really missing my asthma attacks, and my wallpaper is looking decidedly new and shiny and totally unmolested. And I can't get to sleep at night if I think I'm not going to step on a headless mouse in the morning.
And don't forget that other thing cats do: lick themselves all over then retch for 4 hours because of the furball. Then when they stop and you can relax, they spew yesterdays Whiskas (because that's what they would buy, wouldn't they?) all over your new couch.
But I still want him back, please.

If he's prone to leaving little sticky deposits in peoples childrens sandpits, I think I know where he's been hiding

That sounds like him (and every other cat born, it must be said). And now I'm beginning to see why he left. I put a lid on the sandpit (so even the kids can't use it)

To bad ya'll don't have a cat like mine. He uses his scratching post and his litterpan and anything else for those purposses. He doesn't throw up anything. He's very friendly. He does shed a little but that's pretty much it.

You poor naive fool! don't you realise what's happening he's lulling you into a false sense of security. Once your guard is down, WHAM! He'll start bringing dead animals into your home and hiding them behind radiators, clawing at your friends expensive clothes and soiling your soft furnishings. YOU'LL SEE

he's about 8 years old, he doesn't go outside anymore. he just sleeps all day. i'm not worried about him turning on me. he use to be afraid of everything and everyone except for me, now he's not as scaredish and he's more effectionate. He was born in a closet in our old house. his mother left about a year ago.

Alright, then, enough with the cat abuse!

Cats exist solely to entertain people, and take their pay in the form of human servitude (e.g., "Here's a hairball for you to cringingly pick up!"). I know of one cat who likes to be beaten hard about the bum; conversely, if you attempt to cuddle him, he whines. The other cat in that household loves to be thrown at furniture. My cat has become a mighty huntress capable of taking down half-meter garter snakes, and rather than force me to buy toys for her, she'll go outside and bring in a week's worth of little Florida lizards to play with. When she brings them in, she actually puts them in the box where all her toys are kept...I have witnesses. (Where they end up is another matter, and I won't go into it.)

Incidentally, I highly recommend sticking a sock over a cat's head sometime, or Baggies on its feet. Even you cat haters might be entertained enough to appreciate the little beasties then.

I've learned not to do something to a cat it doesn't like. i use to be mean to my cat now i'm not and he trusts me more and is friendlier.
Well, no one on this thread seems to like cats very much. If you don't like them, don't keep them. I could list the things i hate about dogs. anywho, you could just leave the cats outside. At least then they wouldn't reck your house.

Heerrree....Kitty, kitty, kitty.....

If you're looking for a cruel prank to play on a cat, try tossing a ball of sticky side out tape for it. The look of total surprise is very gratifying.

I actually do like cats. It's just the stuff they get into that I don't like.

What's the point of cats? What's the point of anything. Cats are..... well they're lots of things. My cat died last year - and I miss him lots & lots. Sometimes when I come home I see our neighbour's cat (looks very similar) and my heart jumps, then I remember that he's buried in the field behind the house. But my cat, Frodo, he was something else. He used to bring in the mice, but that never bothered me. He caught big hairy spiders for me, which was great (ie. he got rid of them for me). He loved Wednesleydale - but never got much because I like it too. Whatever time I got home, however long I had been away, he was waiting for me (either inside or outside the front door). If he was stuck in the house & got caught short he did his smelly stuff in the bath where it's easier to clean. He liked Iron Maiden and the Beatles and watching football and track running on tv. He was jealous of my babies, and used to sit as close as possible on one side of me (toddler on the other side of me) whilst I was feeding the little baby. And he always looked shocked and disgusted at a stinker of a nappy (he wasn't the only one). I'm misting up now but that's enough anyway.

You're lucky they're dead!

well that was a mean thing to say.