h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Just give it a good shake, and then wipe it on your trousers. After all, it's already gone on everybody around you...

Merkin the Well-Mannered

I believe the correct action is to descretely put one's hand in one's pocket, and hope nobody notices.

Yeah, putting your slimy and stinky hand in your pocket is usually the best method; but it's always better to make it seem that you are looking for a tissue or hankerchief. Then even when you "can't seem to find one, the problem has been solved.

Of course, there is also the Football method of ejecting unwanted mucus, that of sticking your finger over one nostil and firing the contents of your other nostril downwards and backwards at considerable speed, so they land in a glutinous pile just behind your feet.

Do not miss when attempting this manoeuvre, as a mucus covered cod-piece does not appeal to the ladies.

I would be careful of that one. If you misjudge the viscosity of your snot you could be left with an embarrassing "mozarella" hanging from your nose. Which is impossible to remove politely.

Actually, the aerosol fact is one of the few things I learnt during my first degree (BSc in Microbiology). I think it was during a lecture about transmission methods for diseases. Needless to say, I don't use anything from my degree in my current job (I'm an IT manager!)

AndyF
Who isn't feeling so curious today, but still knows lots of useless facts

I would not say impossible to remove politly I find that when this happens its beneficial to bend down quickly as if to tie a shoe lace and remove with the back of the handwhilst covered in this way you can then follow by using the hand in pocket routine mentioned earlier. I hope this comes of some help one day.

Unless you had mean parents, I don't think I can be accused of shyness on the name front!

Beats Researcher 24604 (or whatever, not wishing to victimise anyone with this number).

Or you could state that you are merely trying for the "Longest bogey in the world" title, which I believe stands at somewhere near 10 metres (wild speculation, open to correction, esp. if accompanied by corporal chastisement).

I just typed "largest bogey" into Yahoo (incidentally, see "Search Engine Madness" forum), and I got the following information:

The longest dried bogey trail was found under a table at a well-known public school. It was measured at 26 2/3 inches long.

Which is about 10 metres. Well done. I suspect an inside job.

Much as I would like to say 26 2/3 inches is anywhere near 10 metres, I have to admit, that it falls short by a good 9 metres, still that's a dried bogey, I wonder what lengths there are for a vibrant living, pulsating, green cheese string thing. I'm off to investigate!!

Whoops! Sorry - I was thinking feet rather than inches. It's late here.

And I guess the other reason I screwed up is that 26 inches isn't really that impressive. I think with a decent headcold I could beat that. Where's Norris McWhirter?

The best I can manage is 1 1/3 inch..

But then - my wife still has problems parking the car since I tought her about imperial measurements

My feelings entirely, I remember as a young man, last weekend, I was able upon releasing mucus form my nostils in a relaxed manner (whilst leaning over some parapet/bridge/balcony) I could usually get a good couple of feet of hanging bogey before it snapped. Anyway, I propose a move to http://www.h2g2.com/P122095 to join ye monce pigeon who has made a quite revealing proclamation on sneezing etiquette.

Anyway, I want some conversation on my page!!!

Amazing: I do exactly the same, and was only telling a friend about it the other day.

Hurrah! I am not alone...

I get that! Thanks for putting a name to it, I always thought it was just me.

-- Yoz

You can see a bit more about it at http://www.h2g2.com/P122095

Can you control / initiate you photic sneezing?

I have found that evertone in my office can cause themselves to Photic sneeze. Some can do itr when ever they want but others can only do it when there in limbo between sneezing and not sneezing, if you catch my drift!

you must work in a great office if you can run photic sneezing experiments there. Still it is a nice sunny day, assuming you're around here somewhere, still of you were somewhere else you'd have much more chance of it being a nice sunny day, there not being here; even though here is sunny at the moment.
Yes.

Has anyone decided on a color for the sneeze powered turbine and/or if it should be fitted nasally?