h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Day before yesterday I found out that my Uncle's lukemia is back. Everything was going so well, my dad was a perfect match as a bone marrow doner, and then it went into remission.... I should have known that it was really too good to last.

The strange thing is that I dont feel worried about it. Maybe I just dont know what to feel. Is it okay to not feel upset when you think someone you love is going to die? He is my favorite uncle after all, generally I dislike my relatives, but hes great.

I suppose that my biggest problem is that I want to tell him how much he means to me, but I can't. Last summer, when I tried to tell him he was my favorite uncle he just shrugged it off. I feel like now if I say anything he'll think I'm only saying it because I think hes going to die, and that I don't really mean it. Besides, he lives pretty far away, and I'm lousy at talking on the telephone.I wouldn't have a clue what to say anyway. We never talk, except for when my family goes to see him and my grandparents for a few days in the summer. I don't even really talk to him then, we just play cards and things like that.

I'm sorry, don't mind me. I just felt like I needed to tell someone about it. I can't talk to anyone in my family because it upsets them so much. It seems like everyone is pretending that its not happening.

I'm sure it will all work out, there isn't anything I can do to change it anyway.

Thanks for listening to me go on about my problem.

Clearly I can't spell... Leukemia....

It's OK.

It probably hasn't set in yet- it took me almost a week before I realized how bad of condition my grandmother was in.

As for the fact that you care about him more than most, he probably already knows. Just be there for him, make sure you talk to him a lot (and NOT about leukemia), and tell him you love him as many times as you can.

It's okay to feel whatever it is that you feel: that's just true Sounds as though you might have had time to adjust to this already ... on the other hand, maybe not: it just hits you however it hits you.

And as for whatever it is you want to say to him, then say it if you want to - but don't feel you have to either. As was just said, he almost certainly knows.

And post away when you want to and if it helps. That's what your friends are for.

Scandrea's right, just be there for him.

Don't be worried about what you think you're supposed to be feeling. The way you feel is the way you feel. We all have our own ways of coming to terms with things, and we all do it in our own time.

Thank you all so much You're wonderful.
I knew I could count on you to help me out
I feel much better now, and you both give wonderful advise. I think I'm just going to let things happen as they happen. If I end up talking to him then I will tell him I love him, and if it seems right I'll tell him how much he means to me. But I think you're both right, he probably knows. That hadn't occured to me.

Oops... simulpost.
Thanks Peace

I've nothing useful to say that hasn't been said already...

Thanks for the Ivan
Your dropping by is more than enough

AL,

I can't add anything much either, except there is no book of rules for dealing with this. However you feel it's - just don't feel guilty.



Websailor

Thanks Websailor
Any time I have a problem you always are there with very good advise

Its nice to have such wonderful friends.
I love you all

I'm sure he knows. You told him once after all.

And don't worry, everything will be fine. Bad things won't happen to nice people.

Would that that were true.
Unfortunately I'm quite sure the opposite happens. But thats ok, I'll just accept life as being basically unfair. *Shrug* Maybe when we die we get just compensation for being good here. I dont know. Fortunately I know he believes that, I think it must be comforting.

My, I sound very depressing.... I didnt mean for it to come out quite that way....

Not at all. I think it sounded quite uplifting.

Well the compensation bit anyway.

Ah... well thank you for that I suppose it wasnt all depressing.

Well maybe something deep inside you thinks along the lines of that he recovered once so he'll do it again. Especially since the specialists know your dad's a compatible donor.

What about writing him a letter to tell him how much he means to you? That way you can draft it out and you won't actually be standing there when he reads it.

You know NPY thats a brilliant idea.
And I think you might be right about you said, perhaps I secretly think that hes going to recover... It wouldnt suprise me if thats what I did think.

A small update for those of you who are interested.

My uncle was given 6 months, then 3 months, then 3 weeks...and now he has 10 days. At this rate... Well I won't say, it sounds terrible.

My dad is leaving work and flying out to see him on tuesday, my cousin and his wife are already there. My other uncle and aunt will be going sometime next week I think. I'm flying out with my brohter right after my last class at 13:30 on thursday, and my mom is driving up on friday.

I think that I could handle it all quite well... Exept that my mom is a very emotional person and she tends to be even worse when shes hiding it because shes trying to be "strong" for my dad. Tension and stress are so thick in the house you could cut it with a knife. Hopefully it will fade a little bit, seeing as we only just got the new news.

I think the hardest part will be being constantly very happy and up beat when I stay with my Grandma and Grandpa.

Oh gosh. I'll be thinking of you...

Thanks Ivan That really means alot to me

I talked to my child psychology teacher today. We happened to be washing our hands in the washroom at the same time, a fortunate coinsidence, this way I didnt have to go to her office. She's offered to extend anything or help me if I need it. Too bad I've done my assignment already. Then again, it saves me doing it later.

I like packing for things, I dont know why. I always pack in advance. Its good and bad... I rearely forget anything...but at the same time I tend to overpack. I'm feeling quite happy about desiding which books to pack. Although I think I'll be too busy doing homework....