h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

£4.02 to get me some chicken from the shop that isn't as far away!

£4.02½ to get chicken from the shop, and bring some BBQ sauce as well!

RF

£4.02 and some pencil shavings to get chicken, a slightly brown pear and a scrap of paper with "Eat the skin" scrawled onto it!

£4.01½ to get the chicken, chew the skin, sharpen the pencils yourself to make pencil shavings, scatter the pencil shavings to the four winds, and charge a rhinoceros.

With extra home-made mayonnaise.

RF

I'll give you a rhinoceros that wears a crown and sings I'm The Urban Spaceman to get me the chicken, all four seasons, mayonnaise and some pencil shavings.

Shinydero isn't responding to these wonderful job offers. This makes me .

Maybe we should offer jobs that pay the minimum wage?

RF

Mr Dero, have you heard of a seaside town called Morecambe? There's gold in them thar cockles. Or is it quicksand? I forget.

4.04 flannian pobble beads for a zombie chicken with spooky gravy.

You get spooky gravy for 1½p? Where? Where?

RF

I normally get it from my Spooky Gravy Fairy.

There we are dero, your next mission/job/whatnot will be to find, capture and deliver the spooky gravy fairy. As a reward, you'll get to go to Morecambe.

This computer will self destruct in five seconds.

*Waits six seconds*

Hmm, think I forgot to put on the self destruct thingy.